Before we get started on the dates, can we just take a quick second to address the girls' reaction to the light-up billboard with the message from Ben? In case you missed it – hold on to your hearts here, ladies – it read this: Ladies, welcome to Las Vegas. Can't wait to see you! Ben.
Cue a deafening chorus of shrieks and – we kid you not – what looked suspiciously like a few tears being shed.
"When I saw that sign, it was so romantic. Pretty sure every single one of us kind of fell in love in that moment," JoJo said. ... Really, JoJo? You're great but FYI Ben didn't go up there and carve those letters himself. It's probably safe to assume he didn't even type it out himself. But, we digress: here's the breakdown of what went down – and who went home – this week.
One-on-One with JoJoJoJo is absolutely crushing it this season (didn't we call this already? Yup, we did). She ended up getting the first one-on-one in Vegas, which was only fair considering she hadn't been on a date with Ben since the first group date of the season.
The date got off to a hilarious and adorable start when Ben whisked JoJo to the roof of a nearby building – conveniently located across the street from the girls' hotel room so they had a perfect view of Ben and JoJo kissing – for a helicopter ride. (Ben must be getting really good at making out in helicopters and planes at this point.) They decided to share a glass of champagne whilst waiting for their ride, but as the chopper landed the force of the wind knocked the table (ice bucket, champagne bottle and all) to the ground. Ben and JoJo took cover behind the turned-over table and started kissing before they'd even been together 10 minutes, hence why she's crushing it.
Next thing we know, it was evening and Ben and JoJo were having a very serious talk. (What happened on the rest of their date? One second it was daytime in the helicopter and the next it's dark out and they're in a hotel room? What did they do in between? We have so many questions.) JoJo ended up opening up about her past relationship (she was dating someone for a year and a half and it ended because of "trust issues") and how it gave her insecurities.
Ben, being Ben, showered her with compliments, offered her the date rose and then they kissed on the balcony overlooking the city under some fireworks. (What, you never got your very own fireworks display on a first date?)
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Olivia Absolutely Loses It on the Group DateIn the world of The Bachelor, after a romantic one-on-one comes an insane group date, and such was this week.
Amanda, Jubilee, Caila, Lauren B., Amber, Haley, Emily, Leah, Lauren H., Jennifer, Rachel and Olivia got selected as the lucky 12. At this point if you don't have an Olivia drinking game, you're doing it wrong: Take a sip every time Olivia says "Ben is my man," a shot every time she opens her mouth, and spontaneously combust when she jumps out of a cake in red feathery lingerie.
Yes, that happened during the group date when the women were tasked with performing in a live talent show in front of 1,200 people as Terry Fator's opening act. There were lots of basic interpretations of the word "talent" – we got to watch Lauren H. impersonate a chicken in a chicken suit (pour one out for Tiara, eliminated chicken enthusiast, forever in our hearts), Jubilee play the cello and Lauren B. juggle – but for Olivia, that wasn't enough.
No. Olivia decided she was going to jump out of a cake and do a "Vegas girl dance" in a red sequined bra and panties and thigh-high tights.
It wouldn't have been that bad if she hadn't looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die the entire time. It was truly painful to watch and we just kept wishing she would climb back inside the cake – even poor Ben looked like he didn't know what to do with himself as it was going on.
After it was over, Olivia lost it, claiming she was having a panic attack because she was so embarrassed: "I couldn't even look at him cause I knew he was mortified. So that was like, really embarrassing. I don't think I screamed marriage material." (No, that wasn't exactly what lept to mind.)
By the time the evening portion of the date rolled around, Olivia was still desperate to regain her dignity in front of Ben and proceeded to bring up how embarrassing her performance was over...and over...and over again. Even Ben couldn't comprehend why they were still discussing it, and though he reassured her that nothing was wrong, he certainly seemed more at ease with the other girls, calling Caila a "sex panther" after they made out and offering the group date to Lauren B., whom he's clearly very into.
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One-on-One with BeccaThe remaining one-on-one went to Becca, and Chris Soules, if you were watching, we're sorry.
The date was pretty adorable from start to finish, and Becca – who hadn't had too much screen time this season – is now very much a front-runner. The day started with Becca being delivered a wedding gown ("She's the perfect person to wear white," says Jubilee – Get it? Cause she's a virgin!) and being dropped off at a Las Vegas chapel.
Lo and behold, there she found Ben, standing at the altar in a tuxedo, ready to marry a few couples because, oh yeah, he's ordained.
Ronda Churchill / ABC
Ronda Churchill / ABC
For the evening portion of the date, the two stopped by the Neon Museum – a wasteland of old Vegas neon signs that have been refurbished – and they talked about everything from her previous experience on The Bachelor with Soules, (she "cares so much more this season") her willingness to commit (she's ready) and, most interesting of all, sex (it's "really hard" being a virgin). (Real questions Ben wanted to know about Becca, which make us think he may have thought she was a robot for a second there: "Can she love? Can she feel? Can she commit?")
But in all seriousness, for perhaps one of the first times in Bachelor history, we got to witness a rather candid and open conversation about sex – Ben even talked about wanting to "jump someone's bones"! Well done, ABC, we're making progress – especially after the slut-shaming that went on during Kaitlyn Bristowe's recent season of The Bachelorette.
Oh, right, and Becca ended up getting the date rose, duh.
Two-on-One with the Twins (Yes, Really)At this point, twins Emily and Haley were still in the competition and it was just getting awkward.
As a result, Ben decided he wanted to go on a two-on-one with them, which worked out rather nicely since the twins are from Las Vegas and they got to go visit their childhood home and mother (making it easier for Ben to leave one of them behind at home).
Not going to lie, this was actually pretty sad. They were totally growing on us – but hey, it's kind of a competition after all, and only one can twin.
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Cocktail Party and Rose CeremonyAnother week, another cocktail party, another insane Olivia moment.
This time, instead of going on about her cankles, Olivia brought up her embarrassing performance, again.
Actual quote from Ben who said what we were all thinking: "I don't need you to tell me: 'Oh, I'm so awkward.' "
Next quote from Ben nobody else was thinking: "You're not awkward to me. That stuff is endearing and it's cute."
Olivia then proceeded to tell Ben she was completely falling for him, because it's definitely not too soon for that, right???
Ben also spent more time [making out] with Caila, comforting Jubilee and just generally being an all-around gentleman.
Ultimately, Ben ended up saying goodbye to Amber and Rachel.
Until next week, when the group heads to Mexico, ¡adios!
The Bachelor airs Monday (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.