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Andi Dorfman's Bachelorette Blog: Why I Didn't Invite Chris to the Fantasy Suite

07/15/2014 at 12:30 PM EDT

Bachelorette Andi Dorfman On Why She Did Not Invite Chris to Fantasy Suite
Andi Dorfman
Andrew Southam
Andi Dorfman is the Bachelorette!

After a dramatic exit from Juan Pablo's season of The Bachelor, the assistant district attorney, who lives in Atlanta, is searching for love once again on ABC's hit franchise. Andi, 27, will be blogging for PEOPLE.com every week about the men, the dates and the difficult decisions she'll make on her road to romance.

So check back each week. You can also follow Andi on Twitter.

Wow, it's finally down to three guys and the final destination! Europe had been great, but it was time to heat things up and what better place than the lush, tropical and beautiful Dominican Republic!



I was really excited to get to this Caribbean island and start the week of dating, but I have to admit that my excitement was met with some serious reservations. I couldn't help but remember how this week went for me last season. I remember being excited to spend some time alone, off camera, to really get to know Juan Pablo, only to have it all come crashing down on me.

As excited as I was to spend quality, private time with my final guys, I was also nervous that they were going to be different behind closed doors. This was definitely a fear of mine going into the week. Let's just say I was hoping for a much better outcome this time around!

Nick's Overnight

Nick and I started the date off with an incredible helicopter ride across the island. We truly got to see the beauty of the Dominican Republic from the most incredible viewpoint. The colors of the water, the landscape, everything was stunning! We landed the helicopter on our own private island. Well, I should say that it was private, until a diplomat of the Dominican government also decided to land on the beach for his own picnic too! I promise you can't make this up! Nick and I had such a fun day frolicking on the beach and swimming in the ocean.

Coming off his hometown in Milwaukee, I wanted to talk to Nick about his relationship history. Knowing that the end of my journey was coming up so soon and that Nick had previously been engaged, I felt it was really important to talk about Nick's romantic past.

Our conversation about Nick's past break-ups definitely put me at ease. Nick has this unique ability to just put any issues out in the open and work through them quickly, which I greatly admire.

That night, we enjoyed an intimate dinner on the beach. I absolutely loved the storybook Nick made for me. This was not some sort of flipbook, but rather this was well thought-out and carefully executed. Nick even burnt the edges to make the pages look more authentic.



I was blown away by Nick's drawing skills! Who knew he was such an artist? On top of all of that, the fairytale story that he wrote was so creative and adorable. We laughed as we read the story, but it was also one of the most romantic gifts I have ever been given. Between our great conversation on the beach, him saying he loved me and the beautiful book, I was excited to spend time with Nick, away from the cameras.

Josh's Overnight

For Josh's date, I wanted to experience the culture of the Dominican Republic in its capital, Santo Domingo. I knew it would be a really interesting place to explore, and I was so looking forward to spending time there with Josh. The only thing I didn't plan on, though, was how hot it was that day! Poor Josh was sweating to death and I felt so bad!

Despite the heat, Josh and I started by walking through the city and we enjoyed some local food and drink. Nothing made me laugh harder than seeing how excited Josh was to buy a bottle of the island's famous aphrodisiac, Mama Juana.

I had a really special treat planned that I thought Josh would really love. I planned for Josh and I to go to a local baseball field and watch the kids play. Even though watching the kids play was fun, our date got so much better when the kids invited us to play with them!

I will never forget watching Josh's face light up with happiness being back on the diamond. Seeing him interact with the kids made me realize that he will make an amazing father someday. The afternoon ended with Josh telling me that he loved me. This was something I did not expect, but was so happy to hear.

Later, we had dinner at the beautiful Casa de Campo resort. I loved seeing the more serious side to Josh and being able to talk about what the future would look like if we ended up together. After such a great day, I was looking forward to spending the night with Josh, in total privacy.

Also, I just want to say one thing to my mom and dad – sorry for that kissing scene in the pool!

The best and most embarrassing part of the night happened right before dinner. As I'm getting in the car to drive to dinner, my tooth fell right out of my mouth! Like out of nowhere … it just fell out. After my producer panicked and we checked to see what happened, we discovered that it was, thankfully, my back tooth.

Josh could not tell during our dinner, but I told him anyways. I was mortified, but Josh was funny about it! Don't worry, the next day I went to the dentist and they fixed everything.

Chris's Overnight

My last date was with Chris. Ever since Chris revealed himself as the secret admirer, our relationship had really picked up momentum. I was bowled over by how amazing his hometown date was, and I remember leaving Iowa on Cloud Nine. Coming into this week in the Dominican, I needed to figure out if I really saw a future with Chris – without his wonderful, loving family back in Iowa. This date was definitely the most crucial of the week.

Chris and I started the date by riding horses. I was terrified of the horse. Despite being scared, I definitely didn't want to show Chris. So, what you didn't get to see was that I got to the ranch early to try and practice a little. I wanted to impress Chris! I knew he would love the date, so I wanted to put on a brave face for him. Chris, of course, hopped right on the horse like a pro and taught me how to ride. I loved seeing Chris on a horse in the countryside because I could see he felt a level of comfort and he made it look good.

We had a great time riding and we enjoyed a picnic in the countryside, but the highlight had to be another round of my new favorite game, Ghost in the Graveyard. Despite the fact that we were having fun, I could tell something was missing with our relationship. I left that date with my head spinning.

Coming into that evening, I didn't know what to do. For me, spending an evening with someone is something I value and don't take lightly. I have to say that when it comes to last season, I honestly wished Juan Pablo let me go before we went into the fantasy suite. It was a huge step in the relationship and I made a promise to myself that if I didn't see that potential with one of my guys, I wouldn't allow myself to go into the fantasy suite with them.

The more I talked to Chris, the more I realized our connection wasn't there. We talked a lot about whether or not I could see myself living in Iowa, but that wasn't fair. The truth was that Iowa wasn't the hurdle, our foundation was. I honestly didn't feel like I had a built a solid enough of a foundation with Chris.

I didn't have the same feelings for Chris as I had with Nick and Josh, so even though it was so difficult, I wanted to be honest with Chris. I wanted to be honest with him because I had so much respect for him and how authentic and kind he had always been toward me. I decided it wasn't right to spend the night with Chris in the fantasy suite and it wasn't fair to make him wait for the rose ceremony.

As tough as it was to send Chris home, I knew it was the right thing to do. At that point, every guy was great and I would be truly lucky to be with any of them. What it really came down to though were those intangibles like chemistry, a potential future and most of all, love. Unfortunately, I did not see those things with Chris and I had to make the toughest decision of my journey.

Rose Ceremony

I still wanted to do a rose ceremony, even though there were two roses and only two guys remaining. I felt at that point in the journey it was a two-way street, and Nick and Josh should be able to decide if they want to accept the rose or not. They knew what the next week could possibly entail and I wanted them to dive into it with open arms.

I was so glad that they both wanted roses. I couldn't have been happier with my final two guys. Despite how different they are, they were definitely the two I felt the strongest connection with – even from the beginning. I couldn't believe it was coming down to the guy I gave my first impression rose to and the guy who's from my hometown!

Next week, I have to face a room full of my exes! Yikes! I've never had so many exes before in my life, let alone all in one room! Plus, former Bachelorette Ashley stops by with husband JP with some big news and you will get a chance at another sneak peek of the upcoming season of Bachelor in Paradise. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

Thanks for reading as always! I hope you enjoyed this week and tune in next week for an exciting Men Tell All episode.

Xoxo,

Andi

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