In a recent interview, Coulier says that yes, he and Morissette dated, but there's no way he had anything to do with those now 19-year-old lyrics.
"You know, it's just funny to be the supposed subject of that song," he said. "First of all, the guy in that song is a real a-hole, so I don't want to be that guy." (And if the song is to be believed, that guy probably isn't welcome in his local Cineplex either.)
Coulier says that he inadvertently started the "urban legend" when he jokingly admitted to being the song's subject during a red carpet interview. "The press just wore me down and everybody wanted to know," he said. "So I said, 'Yeah, all right, I'm the guy. There, I said it!'"
Sure, that makes for a neat story, but it also contradicts some of the things that Coulier has previously said about Morissette, their relationship and that particular track. In a 2008 interview with the Calgary Herald, he admits to being overwhelmed when he first heard their breakup playing itself out on Top 40 radio.
"I said 'Wow, this girl is angry,'" he told the paper. "I listened to the song over and over again and I said 'I think I have really hurt this person.'"
Earlier this year, Coulier's Full House costar Bob Saget shared a memory that sounds suspiciously like (or EXACTLY like) one of the lines in that song. "I was at [Coulier's] house and he said, 'Alanis just hung up on me and said sorry for calling you during dinner' ... I was at his house when she said that to him."
But perhaps it's just a coincidence that Morissette later snarled, "I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner."
C'mon, Dave. You still expect us to believe it's not you? Cut. It. Out.
Meanwhile, in non-Alanis news, Coulier will appear in the Season 4 premiere of Oprah: Where Are They Now?, which airs June 8 on OWN.
Photo Illustration by Tiffany Hagler-Geard; Photos Provided Getty and REX USA