Drunk Polish Badger Found on Beach is Our New Spirit Animal
07/30/2015 AT 11:00 AM EDT
A badger in the Polish resort town of Rewal is recovering after an epic bender that saw it polish off nine bottles of beer before passing out on the beach and being discovered.
"Oh, youth. Oh, summer holidays," animal shelter Dzika Ostoja, the animal's caretaker, wrote in a Facebook post detailing the animal's plight. "We found Wandzia drunk," the shelter wrote, "surrounded by seven [empty beer] bottles. There were two more in the bushes, so it's possible Wandzia began partying there."
The shelter adds that Wandzia was unconscious for two straight days, and while she has awoken, she's still too inebriated to sit up. The shelter's manager, Marzena Bialowolska, told AFP that her recovery has consisted of a lot of sleeping, water drinking and chicken-eating, which sounds a lot like ours, minus the part where we draw the shades and binge-watch old episodes of Night Court.
The Guardian reports that Wandzia – who, if her recovery goes as planned, will be released back into the wild at week's end – is the second European badger to run afoul of the bottle. In 2009, German police were apparently summoned to dispatch a badger that had gorged on overripe berries that had fermented, causing it to become drunk and, presumably, disorderly.
Good luck, Wandzia. This was a teachable moment.