Speaking to InStyle for their December cover story (on stands Nov. 13), Stefani, 46, says she struggled balancing her family and creative lives the past few years.
One particular difficulty: recording her 2012 album with No Doubt, Push and Shove.
"I didn't tour at all. But I did record the No Doubt album, which was super hard. I was torn the whole time. Every day I would take the kids to school, drive to Santa Monica, work on the album, and then I'd think, 'Oh my god, if I don't leave by 2:30, I'm not gonna get home in time for dinner.' And Gavin being on tour…" she tells the magazine.
"I'm not gonna say there weren't some incredible moments making that album. But it was a lot of knocking my head against the wall. A lot of struggle."
And the "Used to Love You" singer says the struggles weren't just with the band's time in the studio: She also had a bit of an identity crisis when she first became a mother.
"In the beginning, I didn't want to think of myself as a mother. I was like, 'Wait a minute! Ain't no hollaback girl is who I am!' I had to learn to accept it," she says.
But the mom of Kingston, 9, Zuma, 7, and Apollo, 20 months, took to maternal life quickly.
"Being a mother and having a career – those are just different roles you play," she says. "You're still the same person you were before, but now you're more because you're a mother, too, with a lot to do."
As for how she got her groove back recently? The star (who PEOPLE exclusively confirmed is dating Blake Shelton) credits her gig on The Voice – and her costar and pal Pharrell Williams.
"He helped me with a lot of stuff. I was in a closed-off period before that – I couldn't write, and I didn't feel confident. There were hard times before the baby, personally, that were just not good. And then having Apollo, and being on the show, and being refreshed: It was just like, 'Whoa!'"
Adds Stefani: "I'm in a really positive place now."
