WATCH: Homeless Man Claims to Survive by Going Home with 3-4 Women a Week

updated 09/16/2014 AT 04:00 PM EDT

originally published 09/16/2014 AT 02:45 PM EDT

WARNING: NSFW LANGUAGE

If you were homeless, what would you do to survive?

Well, "Have a series of one-night stands" is probably not everyone's first answer, but it's allegedly working for 26-year-old "Joe," the star of this video from Elite Daily.

Joe claims to have been kicked out of his mother's house in Boston when she found his drug stash. Now, he says, he panhandles on the streets of N.Y.C., occasionally making up to $150 per day, which he spends mostly on drugs, cheap beer and liquor – and buying drinks for women at bars.

See, that last part is key: Joe claims he goes home with women (three or four a week, by his estimate), then spends days at a time in a woman's apartment, showering or doing laundry. In his words, "I see opportunities, and I capitalize on them."

"Since there's eight million people in this city, if you're not getting laid, you're a f–––ing a––hole," Joe says. To that end, he uses hair gel in drug stores, sprays himself with fragrances while in the store, and rotates through his four "pretty good" outfits. ("I have no bad outfits," he clarifies.)

"I don't even like to consider myself a bum," Joe says. When asked what he does think of himself as, he answers, "A gypsy."

"Never become like me," Joe says near the clip's end. "Ever." His clarification on that is a little less self-aware, though: "If you look around you at the f–––in' hundreds of thousands of homeless people in New York City, I'm the only one that can really pull this s––– off."

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