Drew Barrymore radiated her signature bubbly charm at the Pebble Beach Food & Wine festival on April 2. "She was simply a ray of sunshine," says an onlooker of the actress, who introduced her new rose wine from her label, Barrymore Wines, and posed for selfies with fans.
No one would have guessed that the actress had publicly confirmed that morning that she and her art consultant Will Kopelman, 38, were ending their marriage after almost four years.
"They wanted different things," an insider tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "Sometimes you want so badly to have what you didn't have and then when you get it, it's not exactly what you thought it would be."
For more details inside Barrymore and Kopelman's decision to end their marriage, pick up this week's issue of PEOPLE on newsstands Friday
Barrymore, 41, was attracted to Kopelman's stability and charm when the two first met in 2011. After marrying him the following year, the actress found even greater joy when daughters Olive, 3, and Frankie, 23 months, were born.
"I've become such a better person through Will and our kids and and everything," she told PEOPLE last October. "It's hard. It's a lot to have two kids immediately back-to-back. It's a lot to be in a marriage. But he's a good person, and he's very supportive of me and the things I want to do. I give him a tremendous amount of credit."
Dividing their time between L.A. and New York City, the family settled into their Park Avenue apartment so Olive could go to preschool. Yet sources say the couple's differences became harder to ignore.
"Will is very organized and disciplined about his life," says an industry source. Barrymore took a breezier approach but threw herself into multi-tasking between her business empire – she created Flower Beauty and Flower Eyewear along with her film production company – and her daughters: "Drew was always busy with her projects as well as being a good mom."
The couple "tried to work through things for some time," adds the insider, before finally deciding to end the marriage. "This was not an overnight decision. They both really wanted to make it work."
While a family source says Kopelman is "saddened," the couple "really are friends," says a source close to the actress. "And they fundamentally agree on everything when it comes to their girls." As for Barrymore, "she's disappointed," adds the insider. "But she's optimistic for the future."