Jon Stewart Dishes on 'Secret' White House Meetings with President Obama
07/30/2015 AT 12:40 PM EDT
Heard about Jon Stewart's "secret" meetings with President Obama?
Well, as Stewart tells it, they were neither secret nor all that impressive.
His two appointments with the president – in 2011 and again in 2014 – were listed in White House visitor logs, Stewart said in a segment titled "When Barry Met Silly" on The Daily Show Wednesday.
"I went through the normal White House entrance like everyone else, and I told my mom what I was doing, and then she told her friends, and then her friends were like, 'Still not a cardiologist.' But the point is this: Something is not a secret just because you don't know about it!"
Stewart ridiculed some suggestions in the media that he's been in "collusion" with the White House to promote Obama's agenda.
In reality, the conversation in these Oval Office meetings – like, he said, the times he was similarly summoned by "tech giants ... financial captains ... and Billy Joel, true!" – boiled down to "basically, 'Jon, why are you such an a--hole?' "
After joking that Elvis, Minister Farrakhan and "the Area 51 alien" also sat in on the roundtable, Stewart said he and Obama argued over a salmon luncheon "about, 'Really? The VA [Veterans' Administration] can't be fixed any quicker or healthcare.gov can't come online without crashing my son's Minecraft game?' "
Now that Stewart, who is leaving the Comedy Central show after his final taping on Aug. 6, will have plenty of time on his hands, he added:
"To all future presidents, if you asked me to come to Washington, I will do that. Because I have no idea how to react to that other than, 'What time?' "