So... someone just sent in a picture of "lizard man" they saw leaving church in Bishopville. Y'all. pic.twitter.com/7ibkpEaRN3— Sam Tyson (@SamInteractive) August 2, 2015
Oh, sorry, residents of Bishopville, South Carolina, who are laboring so insanely hard to sell this thing. "My hand to God, I am not making this up," the woman who took the picture wrote to CNN affiliate WCIV. We believe you. We believe that you saw a picture of a man in a sub-Power Rangers-quality lizard suit and you took a picture of it.
"I saw your lizard man story and it's given me the courage to send you a video I took in early May," said another guy, speaking about the above video of something moving through some trees, somewhere. It's riveting, if you've recently been lobotomized or have completely given up on life.
Lizard Man sightings date back to 1988, though the most recent one is from 2008, when Bob Rawson's minivan was savaged by the creature.
"You think it's a joke, but you look at the damage to the vehicle, it's hard to say," the then Lee County sheriff, E.J. Melvin, told CNN.
Yes, E.J., we do think it's a joke. How could you not? And if the whole town is in on this, maybe scrape together some cash and buy a new suit? We see more impressive costumes at Comic Con that some 17-year-old put together in his basement.
Get it together.