Matt Bomer: Marrying Partner in 2011 'Was Good for Our Family'

05/06/2014 at 06:45 PM EDT

Matt Bomer: Marrying Partner in 2011 'Was Good for Our Family'
Matt Bomer on the cover of OUT
Courtesy OUT
Earlier this month, Matt Bomer surprised fans by revealing he has been married for years. Now, the White Collar actor is opening up about his wedding – and his journey to coming out.

"It was very chill. Very small – only our nearest and dearest," Bomer, 36, tells the June/July double issue of OUT magazine of the 2011 ceremony. "There's a security, a validity of knowing that it's legal. It's hard to put into words. It's just a feeling I guess – something about saying vows in front of the people around you who love and support you. I think it was good for our family."

That family includes husband Simon Halls and their three young sons, whom Bomer says have given him new purpose.

"There's a level of love that really dissolves a lot of egotism and self-absorption. I mean – don't get me wrong, I have my moments," he says of fatherhood. "But at a certain point in my life, my whole day would have been about this interview. Now, it's a small part of a day that also includes a drop-off at school in the morning and baseball practice and a lot of other things that take precedence."



Bomer takes on the role of a lifetime when HBO's The Normal Heart airs May 25. Larry Kramer's original play – the story of the early and very deadly years of the AIDS epidemic – was a huge influence on the star as a teen.

But it wasn't until speaking at a 2012 Desert Aids Project event, when he thanked Halls and their children, that Bomer fully came out to Hollywood.

"I felt a responsibility to Simon and to our kids to be able to live with integrity and not have some strange split psychology of 'This is who my dad is at home, and this is who he is to the public,' " he explains to the magazine. "That trumped any type of professional repercussions that it could have had. ... Whatever happens from this point on says a lot more about the business and society than it does about me."

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