The realization came to Lea Grover while home with her crying 2-year-old twins, she writes in a new essay for Cosmopolitan. She hadn't smoked weed in years, but she decided to take two puffs from her "stash box."
"When I went back to change my daughters' diapers, something was different. I was different," she writes, saying that being high allowed her to empathize better with her daughters. "When my daughter whined I understood implicitly she was uncomfortable in her diaper. I stripped her of her clothes, and she started smiling at once."
After the incident, she realized she was "actually sort of a better parent stoned."
Lea Grover goes on to write that she avoids relying on the substance, but she seeks it out for the patience it lends her. "I'm slower to get angry or frustrated, because I understand their frustrations," she says, of being high. "I am able to see the world through their eyes, to remember how hard it is to be a preschooler or toddler, how things that seem obvious to me aren't yet known to them. We all have a better day."
Grover points out that parenthood-induced anxiety "is a real thing," so it's not absurd that she seeks out weed to cope with challenging days.
"I have three children, and sometimes I smoke marijuana so I can be a better parent to them, because they deserve my best," she writes. "And in my book, anything you can do that makes you a better parent is good parenting."
Grover notes that marijuana doesn't knock her out like Xanax does. She also says that she doesn't drive stoned, nor does she smoke in front of her children.
"I don't smoke in front of the kids, and I don't intend to in the future," writes Grover. "When they're adults, they can make their own choices about marijuana, but I probably won't smoke with them."