"I'm a little hurt that he's not here tonight. We had so much fun the last time," Obama began. "And it is surprising. You've got a room full of reporters, cameras, celebrities. And he says no. Is this dinner too tacky for the Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead? Is he at home? Eating a Trump Steak? Tweeting out insults? What is he doing?" (Editor's note: As of 11:18 p.m. ET Saturday, Trump had not addressed Obama's speech on Twitter!)
"The Republican establishment is incredulous that he's their most likely nominee," Obama continued. "Shocking. They say Donald lacks the foreign policy experience to be president. But in fairness he has spent years meeting with leaders around the world. Miss Sweden, Miss Argentina …"
And in a more political dig: "And there's one area where Donald's experience could be valuable, and that's closing Guantanamo. Because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground."
The president also took the opportunity to tease the press about all of the coverage of Trump's presidential bid.
"All right, that's probably enough. I've got more material," Obama said to the crowd's boos. "I don't want to spend too much time on Donald. Following your lead, I want to show some restraint. Because I think we can all agree that from the start he's gotten the appropriate amount of coverage. Befitting the seriousness of his candidacy. I hope you all are proud of yourselves. The guy wanted to give his hotel business a boost and now we're praying Cleveland makes it through July."
But it wasn't just Trump: During his speech, the president spared no one – and no hot button issue ...
Walking in to the lyrics, 'You're gonna miss me when I'm gone' playing in the background.
"You can't say it but you know it's true."
On the ongoing election process in the Republican party.
"The Republican party, the nomination process, it's all going great!" he said. "Keep it up!"
On Ted Cruz's visit to Indiana.
"Ted had a tough week. He went to Indiana, Hoosier country, stood on a basketball court, and called the hoop a basketball ring. What else is in his lexicon? Baseball sticks? Football hats? But sure, I'm the foreign one."
On Bernie Sanders.
"Bernie, you look like a million bucks," he said. "Or to put it in terms you'll understand, you look like 37,000 donations of $27 each."
On next year's WHCD.
"Next year at this time, someone else will be standing in this spot and it's anyone's guess who she will be," he said to resounding applause.
On his meeting with Prince George.
"Last week, Prince George showed up to our meeting in his bathrobe," he said. "That was a slap in the face. A clear breach of protocol."
On Kendall Jenner.
Kendall Jenner is also here. We had a chance to meet her backstage and she seems like a very nice young woman. I'm not exactly sure what she does but I am told that my Twitter mentions are about to go through the roof.
On Vice President Joe Biden.
"Thanks for not shooting anyone in the face."
On his changing hair colors.
"Meanwhile, Michelle has not aged a day. The only way you can date her in photos is by looking at me."
Susan Walsh / AP
At the speech's conclusion, he took a moment to thank the members of the press before ending with a mic drop.
And that's how you go out with a bang.