Aviva Drescher held an engagement party for her 76-year-old father, George, at, appropriately enough, the Museum of Sex, after he proposed to his 25-year-old girlfriend, Cody, in last week's episode.
"The Museum of Sex is an obvious choice for my father's engagement party," joked Drescher, before turning serious. "I believe that Cody and my father are truly in love, and while it may be unconventional, I support my father."
But things turned dysfunctional quickly.
"I'm having a conversation, and all of a sudden I realized there was a hand on my breast," said Kristen Taekman. "It was George's."
But it was Ramona Singer's mouth that caused the most problems.
Singer insinuated Cody was marrying for money, before bringing up her deceased parents after being warned not to do so, causing the bride-to-be to cry.
"How dare she insult her?" George raged. "Ramona is a bitch, and you know what happens to bitches? They get f–––ed by dogs."
Singer visited Drescher, offering an apology for ruining the party, but it didn't last long after Singer told George she wouldn't want her daughter "to be prey to an older man."
Continued Singer: "If you really loved her, you would let her go."
"I do not control another human being," said George.
"God forbid [my daughter meets] some lecherous man like you," said Singer. "Should we just give you a newborn to do?"
"She's a racist. She doesn't like black people," ranted George.
But all bets were truly off in Saratoga, where the hats were big, the horses were fast, but Sonja Morgan's drinking was bigger and faster.
"I don't know anything about betting on horses, but I do know the one sure bet today is that Sonja's getting wasted," said Taekman. "It's 10 a.m. and Sonja's drinking hard liquor. What could go wrong?"
"I'm a Saratoga veteran," said Morgan. "I've been betting on horses since I was 17."
But perhaps not winning.
After all the wives sans Morgan won over $3,000 on a bet, Morgan disappeared, and the ladies left without her.
"They always do this. Bitches!" Morgan ranted, returning home "blotto." "After winning all this money, they ditch me?"
"Who doesn't drink in Saratoga?" she continued, walking out on the wives with her packed bags. "I'm outta here. I'm going straight to the Hamptons."
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.