"No one is concerned?" asked Kristen Taekman, whom Morgan invited over for a beauty treatment, but she wasn't home when she arrived the next morning. "Only Sonja could get away with this stuff."
Cue Morgan sneaking back into her house.
"He had to rip my dress off," she told her intern upon arriving. "I didn't get a lot of sleep, but I got a lot of action."
Continued Morgan: "Okay, so I had a walk of shame. I live for the walk of shame. Actually, I call it a victory lap. A girl has to do what she has to do."
And when that girl is Morgan's esthetician, she spills all her dirty secrets, telling Taekman that Morgan's mystery man was actually a French Johnny Depp look-alike that LuAnn de Lesseps allegedly enjoyed some time with in St. Barth's last season.
"[LuAnn] does whatever she wants to do," said the esthetician. "I heard her favorite were short French men … with thick accents … She likes to be in charge."
"She doesn't like it when I call her LuMan," joked Morgan.
The esthetician then told Taekman that Morgan "stole" Carole Radziwill's ex-boyfriend when she was drunk in California.
"Anything can happen around Sonja," the esthetician stated casually, before applying a placenta mask to Taekman's face.
"I learned a lot today," Taekman deadpanned.
As did all the wives when Aviva Drescher texted them at a cancer fundraiser hosted by de Lesseps to say that her father, George, and his bride-to-be, Cody, had spent the previous night with Miss USA 2012, Nana Meriwether, who showed up at the luncheon.
"My dad asked, 'Would you mind if Miss USA slept over?' " said Drescher, whose text had the ladies in a tizzy and the countess in a fury. "In the morning, my dad came out … and said, 'She came over, we all fooled around, and she left.' "
Continued Drescher: "My father may be a lot of things, but he is not a liar. And if he swears on my leg, I know he's telling the truth."
But leave it to George's nemesis, Ramona Singer, to get to the bottom, walking directly up to Meriwether to cross-examine her.
"What time did you leave in the morning?" asked Singer.
"Eight. Nine. In the evening," replied Meriwether.
"Oh, you left at night. So what time did you get to [Aviva's] house?"
"I didn't go to her house," she said. "I went home."
"George is telling tales," Singer said. "Why would Miss USA go home with George?"
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.