The barnyard brawl began when Beador was chatting with bestie Tamra Barney and received a text from a friend who had overheard Dubrow discussing Beador's marriage and referencing a private email that Beador's husband, David, had sent his wife saying he was going to move out.
The only person Beador had told about the email was Barney.
"I did not tell Heather anything," Barney quickly lied, adding, "[You] are complete enemies … why would I?"
So Beador marched directly over to her enemy's house to confront her.
"I'm here mom to mom," Beador told Dubrow. "What is being told about me is hurtful to my kids."
"I'm a mother who you think is a liar, who scolds people and is rude," said Dubrow, before confessing the whole stink had been caused by Barney, who not only had told her about the email and their marital troubles over lunch but also that she was worried about Beador's drinking.
"[Tamra is] saying I'm drinking too much and my marriage is falling apart?" said a dumbfounded Beador. "What is she going to accuse me of next?"
When Beador began to get more upset, Dubrow asked her to leave.
"My children are in the house. We're done."
But the feud between Barney and Beador was just beginning.
"I said something to Heather. I'm not going to lie to you," Barney finally admitted when the two met later. "There's nothing worse to kick someone when she's down. And I kicked Shannon. I feel horrible."
All of which left Beador upset at both her friend and her enemy.
"What Heather Dubrow did to me was cruel," she said about being tossed out of her house, before adding about Barney's lie, "I don't know how you can ever trust that person again. Ever."
Perhaps the two should have gone to Puerto Vallarta, like Vicki Gunvalson.
"Give each other a kiss, the tongue, a titty-twister … something," was the vacation advice Gunvalson offered to Beador, before trying to take her own advice with on-again boyfriend Brooks.
The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Monday (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.