If you can believe her barbs, they're already married – and, in typical Hollywood fashion, divorced.
The Oscar winner hilariously dismissed rumors about her romancing the Captain America star, telling Entertainment Tonight, "You guys are a little behind."
"We've since married and it started breaking apart, so we separated," joked the Gravity star. "We filed for divorce, and I hope everyone can respect our privacy. But we're going to remain friends and share responsibility of the farm animals we've taken on, because you just can't abandon the animals."
Bullock, 49, and Evans, 32, were first linked in March, when they were spotted dining together with a group of friends in West Hollywood. And though she may find the buzz laughable, Evans has been open about his childhood crush, telling Details in 2012 that he kept a poster of Bullock in his bedroom.
All kidding aside, it's hard to blame the Avengers actor for his affection. Bullock, after all, just won the Decade of Hotness award, proving she's been stealing guys' hearts for years.