In a plot that recalls both the 2000 Natalie Portman vehicle Where the Heart Is, as well as a 2003 episode of King of the Hill, the unnamed 14-year-boy spent days living in two makeshift "compounds" he had constructed in a Corsicana, Texas, Walmart.
According to local affiliate CBS DFW, the boy cleared two spaces behind the store's baby and home goods aisles, stocking them with food, juice and bedding. He even swiped a goldfish for company.
The boy reportedly took his mission so seriously that he stole diapers to avoid using the Walmart's bathroom.
He held out for four days, shy of the 29-year record of Japan's Hiroo Onoda, but impressive nonetheless. Like a Shakespearean antihero, his very success in scrounging proved to be his undoing: The boy lacked the means to dispose of his trash, which led to his discovery. That's got to be a metaphor for something.
According to CBS, the boy was a frequent runaway who was taking advantage of his parents' trip out of town. Before living in the store, he had been staying with his aunt. Walmart has indicated it will not press charges.