RUMER OF THE DAY

It's the gift every 18-year-old doesn't want. But at RUMER WILLIS's birthday party, her mom, DEMI MOORE, announced, "Happy 18th, you are officially cut off." But she added, "Just kidding." Held at Dolce (co-owned by stepdad ASHTON KUTCHER), the Aug. 17 bash featured '80s tunes and DIY henna tattoos for guests LINDSAY LOHAN, ASHLEE SIMPSON and the b-day girl's parents, Moore and BRUCE WILLIS. After Rumer blew out her candles, there were sweets for all. "Ashton fed Demi the tiniest piece of cake," a guest tells Insider. And Willis? He happily chatted up Lohan. Says a witness: "He was being flirty."

PARIS PROMOTIONS

Before Paris, the album, hit stores, PARIS, the HILTON, hit Miami's Suite club, where she feted the release by dancing and singing to her own songs. Joining the Aug. 15 bash: NICKY HILTON and BRANDON DAVIS (who shouted insults about Lindsay Lohan—who was not there). Hilton was all smiles at the party, but she told Blender mag that her debut album is so good, "I, like, cry when I listen to it." Artists must suffer for their work.

FAST TAKES

JESSICA ALBA (top) hosted an L.A. event for the e-zine BeMoreYou.com on Aug. 19. Her words of wisdom to the 20 local teens: "No one is perfect." Not even A-listers? "It's an illusion."

BILLY JOEL's take on his ex-wife CHRISTIE BRINKLEY's fallout with current husband PETER COOK? "As long as my daughter [Alexa Ray, 20] is okay, that's all that matters to me," he tells Insider.

"If it's pink and sparkly and Barbie, it's nirvana for her," BROOKE SHIELDS says of her daughter Rowan, 3 (below), who joined fellow blissed-out enthusiasts (including BRANDY's daughter Sy'rai) at the Barbie Live! playdate in L.A. Aug. 18.