BY TOM GLIATTO
DRAMA
Yowee, this one's a wild ride. Three episodes in, you'll feel as if your brain had been plopped into a centrifuge and whipped into a meringue. In a good way. A daringly wide-flung science fantasy, Heroes tracks the strange, violent destinies of a group of people who have somehow mutated to a level that's superhuman. A young Manhattan man begins to fly. A cheerleader can withstand everything from fire to a broken neck. A guy from Japan teleports himself to Times Square. And an artist with visionary powers is one step ahead of them all, mapping out their futures in paintings and comic books. It's like X-Men without the sexy costumes but full of shadows, menace and morbid effects. One problem for our heroes is that evolution, for some, isn't a ladder to improvement but a giant banana peel on which to slip and fall: Someone who may also be superhuman is on a sinister mission, offing people in spectacular ways—and stealing their brains. The show's fun, and a little freaky.
ABC (Thursdays, 8 p.m. ET)
COMEDY
The devil does not wear a poncho from Guadalajara. In this delicious over-the-top comedy—look, everyone, a bottomless bag of candy from ABC!—that fashion faux pas is committed by Betty Suarez (America Ferrera). A garishly frumpy young woman who looks like the lost sister of Saturday Night Live's Fred Armisen, Betty is a new hire at a fashion magazine called Mode. In the cutthroat world of couture and publishing, Betty, who's as quick-thinking as she is style-deprived, proves indispensable to her playboy boss, Daniel Meade. He's played by Eric Mabius with a perfect mix of decent intentions, callow fun and maybe incurable stupidity.
CBS (Wednesdays, 8 p.m. ET)
DRAMA
This new series starring Skeet Ulrich (below) had me hooked with a single image: a kid looking off at a mushroom cloud. It was mythic, disturbing, beautiful, as if Andrew Wyeth painted the apocalypse. But the show is pretty dull. The people in a Kansas town witness the nuclear explosion, realize there were others and now have to deal with the fallout and maybe the end of civilization. Oh, is that all? Plenty of folks, Ulrich included, have secrets that may influence the drama, but mostly it feels like an instructional film about disaster preparedness.
The CW (Mondays, 9 p.m. ET)
DRAMA
The CW's first original series feels like 7th Heaven set in hell—a sensitive family drama played out under infernally difficult conditions.
The premise is good: A prominent East Coast attorney (Donnie Wahlberg, the most anxious-looking actor on the planet) is framed for murder, and his wife and three kids are being hunted by an unknown enemy. They hit the road, leaving behind old identities, scrambling to create new ones and to find a safe, anonymous haven. Well, how about small-town Iowa? Wahlberg, still trying to piece together who's out to get him, lands a job at the local diner. Meanwhile—and here's the 7th Heaven part—it's dawning on his teen daughter Hannah (Sarah Ramos) that maybe she can reinvent herself as a cool girl at her new school. You go on the lam, and you find Laguna Beach.
The 17-year-old actress is a standout on Heroes, playing a Texas high school cheerleader who bounces back from any mutilation. "She constantly has body parts falling off, getting chewed up or popped out—so it's been fun," says Panettiere, who's dating TRL host Stephen Colletti, 20. He has his own special power: "He's a good conversationalist, which I adore. There's nothing worse than sitting in a car with someone where you have to bring something up."
Help Me Help You(ABC, Sept. 26, 9:30 p.m. ET) New sitcom with Ted Danson as a therapist trying to handle a group of patients, with a neurosis nicely doled out to each.
Cold Case(CBS, Sept. 24, 9 p.m. ET) A teen shooting spree that ended in a double suicide may have involved another, undetected killer. Start of the new season.
Desperate Housewives(ABC, Sept. 24, 9 p.m. ET) We return to Wisteria Lane after a spotty second season. There's a fresh but typically weird romantic crisis for Susan (Teri Hatcher).
Supernatural(The CW, Sept. 28, 9 p.m. ET) Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are back fighting demons, on a new network. Who'll combust this season?
Brotherhood (Showtime, Sept. 24, 10 p.m. ET) Season finale of the powerful drama about corruption and politics in a very tough family in Providence.
Kicking off Survivor: Cook Islands, Jeff Probst described it as "a social experiment like never before." No, it's a dumb gimmick and a throwback to separate-but-equal: The four teams have been divided along racial lines, Asian, black, white and Hispanic. This means that when Probst yells, "Puka wins the challenge," he should just say, "The Asians win!" For now, I miss the usual emphasis on the perils of untamed nature. The white team fought off a cold night by curling up in what one woman actually called a "cuddle puddle." That's surviving?
Sanaa Lathan
The actress, 35, is Nip/Tuck's latest mystery woman, playing Larry Hagman's wife and the new owner of the surgeons' practice.
ON WHY SHE LOVES THE SHOW Every week I get the script and I literally stand up in my kitchen and read it. It's such a page-turner.
ON GETTING A NIP/TUCK HERSELF I don't see myself doing that now. I'm a believer in aging gracefully. If it makes you happier, go ahead. But the show is very anti-plastic surgery.
ON PLAYING THE WIFE OF HAGMAN, 75 He's charming. But don't assume we'll have any intimate scenes.
Her first few days as Matt Lauer's coanchor were relaxed and fun, although I'd have spared her that segment where she had to tell a deluded Miss Piggy she didn't get the job. The idea, I guess, was to underline Vieira's unfussy charm by juxtaposing her against a bullying egomaniacal pig. Odd way to make a point. But Vieira was the right choice for Today. She's Champagne brunch served at sunup.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
