The comic, 35, who surprised fans by playing a wannabe serial killer in Mr. Brooks
, is single and hating it. "I prefer being in a relationship," he says. "I'm more of a homebody. I love to entertain people, but when the show is over, that is it. I am looking for that girl who likes to kick back and enjoy the simple things in life." The future Mrs. Cook should know that:
HE DOESN'T DRINK
"I've never had a drink or drug. I want someone who wants to feel the moments of life and doesn't need a substance to enhance or decrease the experience."
SHE'LL BE A PUNCH LINE
"There was one relationship in which some stuff went down, and this girl was like, 'You're not going to talk about this onstage, right? 'It goes with the territory: If you date a comedian, life is the performance, and you better get comfortable with it."