It was one of those peculiar manufactures of our age: a made-for-television nonevent. The Third World Invitational Tennis Classic at the Sea Pines Racquet Club on Hilton Head Island, S.C. had everything—a momentous name, a snooty site, a handsome first prize ($40,000 and a car) and a sprinkling of the new royalty of the Court of Har-Tru. As it was, Rod Laver demonstrated either his forgetfulness or his disdain by giving tennis lessons until 40 minutes before he was due for a first-round match against Arthur Ashe. Laver then went on to capture the over-all championship, which was calculated on a point system. Chris Evert, who recently signed a modeling contract with the Ford Agency, was second. And Ilie Nastase was, well, Nasty. In a mixed doubles match he erased a ball mark before a line judge could take a closer look.

Tch, tch. Then he won a van for serving the most aces. To match the foolishness on court, there was a suitable amount of waggery off, as these pictures testify.