People have raised strange things for fun and profit—minks, toadstools, long tresses, ants, living sponges—but few have cultivated their cuticles with such determination as Benjamin Cureton Jr., 28, a Vallejo, Calif. painter and sculptor who goes by his former rock band name of "Mother 500."

About eight years ago Mother 500, or "Moms" as pals call him, decided to become a human fingernail factory, since he found clients then willing to pay up to $25 an inch for nails grown at least five inches in length. Manicurists affixed them to women unable to grow their own. At first Mother 500 did reasonably well. "My best year was in 1970, when I sold all 10 nails," he claims. He says he learned of the lucrative business in nails from several women friends who had earned school pin money that way.

The long and short of it now is that his business has tapered off. Moms believes that the use of artificial "sculptured" nails ruined the market. His reverses are in no way traceable to his own negligence. In fact, he is stuck this year with a bumper crop: on his left hand the thumbnail is a five-inch beauty, the ring finger four inches and the pinkie two inches. Naturally left-handed, Mother sports four one-and-a-half-inchers on his right hand.

Moms is not mooning that his pastime has become pointless. Having started to grow his nails at age 15, he says his primary interest has always been aesthetic. "Long nails are a form of self-expression. They're like plants, taking different shapes that you cannot predict—growing free, no limits." He intends to keep right on with his Fu Manchus, nourishing them five minutes a day in a soak of vinegar and linseed oil, followed by an alcohol rinse. Nor is he bothered by the drawbacks. "If I'm going out at night I have to start getting ready two hours ahead," he admits. For example, he needs a shoehorn to tuck in his shirt. To dial a phone, he uses a pencil, and he washes dishes with his knuckles. "Sleeping is the most difficult thing," Moms says. "My hands are always outside the covers." Sometimes he gets a little help from his friends. "Taking a bath is manageable," he says. "If I have a lady friend there, she can wash my back."