A crime against moviegoers. Happy Days star Ron Howard, who admits to writing, directing and starring in this unmoving offense, should be sentenced to watch it. He elopes to Las Vegas with his rich girlfriend, nicely played by perky Nancy Morgan. Sadly, she remains chaste while chased by a typical assortment of California fruits and nuts—including a lisping twit named Collins Hedgeworth. When the action flags there is always another spectacular spinout or car crash—so many of them there apparently wasn't any money left for a script. Save your money and visit your local demolition derby. (PG)

Fans of television's Saturday Night will love this wacky collection of comedy sketches masquerading as a movie. Though a few of the spoofs fall flat, most are good for a giggle, especially the takeoffs on disaster movies, aspirin commercials and the current glut of happy-talk news shows. Most of the performers are unknown, but there are a few surprise cameos—including the leading man from Dino De Laurentiis' recent King Kong, appearing here as an ape named Dino. (R)

Disney's top money-maker of 1969, Herbie the souped-up "Love Bug," rides again—and this time he falls hood over wheels in love. Small wonder. Competing in the Trans France race, Herbie hooks bumpers with a baby-blue Lancia named Giselle. Under the bemused handling of Disney veteran Dean Jones and his bug-eyed mechanic, Don Knotts, Herbie is still the greatest clown on four wheels. Excellent summer fare for the kids. (G)

A man-eating octopus (its varied diet includes shapely women and bouncing babies) is meandering around off sunny San Diego. Naturally, endangered residents ignore the warnings of John Huston, who unconvincingly plays an agitated seaside reporter. Shelley Winters, his funny, fat sister, is buoyant, and Henry Fonda, as the amoral corporate exec, is still clear of eye, firm of chin and sound of voice. Murky, however, is why Fonda would lend himself to such squishy nonsense. (PG)