To Catch a Thief
Actress Candy Clark is no bonbon when it comes to fighting crime. While picking up a friend in Venice, Calif., she helped catch one of two men who were burglarizing the house next door. "I yelled to them, 'What are you doing? Stealing that TV set and stereo?' " The strangers said they were just reclaiming property stolen from them, and drove off. After she took her friend to the airport, a suspicious Candy returned to the scene. She came upon two speakers the thieves had dropped, and she hid them in some tall grass. Shortly thereafter one of the suspects returned for the lost speakers—and ran into the police, whom a neighbor had called. "We got him," Candy said proudly, "and I'm ready to do it again." Last week she almost got her chance—somebody broke into her Hollywood home and lifted her stereo and TV. "It's ironic," says Candy. "Now I have to catch another thief to break even."

The Glory Tax
Garry Marshall is finding out that life as ABC's hottest producer (Mork & Mindy, Laverne & Shirley, Happy Days, Angie) is a path strewn with other things besides roses and riches. Honored as TV Showman of the Year by the Publicists' Guild, Marshall accepted with what you might call alloyed pleasure. At the award luncheon he sounded a bit plaintive: "One of the trade papers called me and asked me if I would like to take an ad out to thank the Publicists' Guild. So I did. Then another trade paper called. So I took out an ad there too. Then I had to buy a couple of tables for the luncheon. So far, this award has cost me $3,500. You only give it once, don't you?"

Thank You, Mr. President
Jimmy Carter tickled the White House Correspondents' Association at their annual spring dinner with a riff of one-liners produced by a new speechwriter, Gordon Stewart. He previously wrote for John Lindsay and the movies, in that order. Having changed the part in his hair during Easter break, the President explained: "You probably surmised that the shift from right to left is only for the primaries. Then, for the general elections—right down the middle." Of Jerry Brown, Carter said: "He's California's way of celebrating the Year of the Child." Amy, he went on, "says Senator Kennedy isn't a candidate. Don't laugh at her. She's only a child." And of his future: "A lot of people ask me if I'm running, and I say, 'Running what?' "

Curves Ahead
She's met the Queen of England, had dolls made in her image, done the Tonight show and been named country music's Entertainer of the Year. But Dolly Parton's honors list hit a snag back in Tennessee. State Rep. Clifford "Bo" Henry balked at the idea of renaming 2.6 miles of highway running though her hometown of Sevierville as Dolly Parton Parkway. Said Henry: "This is the straightest, most level stretch of U.S. Highway 441—couldn't we find a piece of road more in proportion with Ms. Parton?"

Property Wanted
The acting Fondas have had their family squabbles in the past, but they feel overdue for a little togetherness. Between wrapping Wanda Nevada with Peter and starting The Journey of Simon McKeever this summer with Jane, father Henry said: "I'd love it if the right project came along for all three of us to do together." Peter calls it "a lifetime dream," but adds, "We can't find a project. You'd think someone would be beating their brains out looking for one for us, but so far, no luck." Ideas, anyone?

Furthermore

•Scratch those rumors about Gerald Ford running for a Colorado Senate seat against Gary Hart (the former President owns a Vail condo). Ford's double denial: (1) he hasn't been asked, and (2) "I'm a bona fide resident of California and I don't like carpetbaggers." But his lectures and tours, including one to the Middle East, point to a third possible reason: Ford has a better idea.

•Pope John Paul II, already one of history's most popular Popes, is also one of the toughest in governing the Vatican. Says an official there: "I wouldn't want to clash with this man. He not only would run a steamroller over you, he would turn around and run it back over you."

•Kirk Douglas says he has discouraged his four boys from going into show business but couldn't be prouder of actor-producer Michael (The China Syndrome). Sounding brave, mature and very paterfamilias, Kirk said: "I want my sons to surpass me, because that's a form of immortality."