The happy groom was Britain's outrageous rocker Ozzy Osbourne, 33. That's the same John Michael (the name on his marriage certificate) Osbourne who cut seven gold LPs with Black Sabbath and who has three currently on the charts with his own band. On other occasions Ozzy has been known to bite the head off a dove or a bat (after which he had a rabies shot). This time, though, Ozzy settled for a decorous nibble on the neck of his manager and bride, Sharon Arden, 29. The couple met 10 years ago, but romance blossomed after they started working together. (This was Ozzy's second marriage. He has three children, who live with their mother in Birmingham, England.) Sharon, who looked up the nondenominational pastor in the Yellow Pages under Marriage Counselors, says gleefully, "I don't think the man could believe what was happening." There followed a zesty luau that featured roast pig and a wedding cake soaked with Osbourne's favorite libation, brandy. Ozzy then favored his bride with an improvised song he titled Fangs for the Memory.
The groom was resplendent in a creamy tux with a natty bow tie. The bride glowed in an immaculate white gown. Friends and family smiled happily as the sunset ceremony began on a pristine beach on the Hawaiian island of Maui. All that was missing was Andy Williams singing The Hawaiian Wedding Song, and maybe that was just as well. For about the time the groom was getting to the part about honoring and cherishing, he opened his mouth and bared a pair of custom-made fangs. "The only problem," notes Ozzy, "was saying the vows because I sounded a bit like Donald Duck."