Big Cheese
Let's see. If you add up just a few of David Bowie's 1983 credits, you get: a successful world concert tour, a chart-busting LP, Let's Dance, a multimillion-dollar record contract with EMI and a lead in the film Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence. Think it's gone to his head? No way. David recently ordered a custom-made T-shirt. On the front, it reads: "This year's grand fromage." On the back: "Next year's rind."

Mother, May I?
"This is the Victorian way, and I think I'll bring it back," said Brenda Vaccaro, who attended a party at L.A.'s Improv with an unusual date: her mom. "If I'd listened to my mother I wouldn't have married some of the men I married," added Brenda, recently split from her third husband. "Now I'm going to take her everywhere with me and listen to everything she tells me. If I ever consider getting involved again, I'm going to say, 'Mom, what do you think of him?' We argued over one man for four years. And guess what? She was right. I wish I had known she was so smart sooner."

Wardrobe Heeler
"I want to say I have absolutely no taste in clothes," Howard Baker confessed to the Senate in response to an announcement of this year's 10 best-dressed men by a group called the Tailors Council of America. Ronald Reagan won the top honors in Washington, but word had it that the casual Baker was a close runner-up. Though he responded to the rumor with humor, Howard might have laughed even harder if he had first spoken with Irma Lipkin, executive director of the well-established Custom Tailors and Designers Association of America. "Those awards are a crock, a PR stunt," says she. "As far as I know, we are the only tailoring organization in America." The other outfit's head, Beverly Hills tailor Jack Taylor (notice the last name), then tried to make everything perfectly clear. He said he presides over a very loose network of 120 to 125 tailors across the country, and he canvassed, oh, at least 40 of them over the phone to come up with his best-dressed list. As he tells it, about 20 of his friends swore Reagan in; only four or five voted for Baker. That's democracy for ya, but please, no recount.

Hush, Child
Tina Sinatra wants to raise money to produce a film about father/ daughter relationships called Home Sweet Home. Though she knew Ol' Blue Eyes wouldn't fork over any dough, she did get him to make one commitment: He'll star in the movie opposite JoBeth Williams, who will play his little girl. Says Tina, "Dad never worked for me before. We've agreed if this project goes through, we'll either be closer than ever or never speak to each other again."

Non-Talking Heads
If you think touring the Far East meant endless excitement for Ronald and Nancy Reagan, you obviously missed their banquet with Japan's Emperor Hirohito. That man of few words remained silent and shook hands while an aide greeted 142 arriving guests by repeating one line from a cue card ("I am glad you could come"). Sitting between the Reagans at dinner, the Emperor still barely spoke, though an interpreter stood behind him. Afterward, White House gossips report, the Reagans rated the imperial meal the single most boring state dinner they had ever attended.

Furthermore

•"It's vulgar to talk about money if your net worth is over $20 million," pronounced Broadway's La Cage aux Folles producer Alan Carr at a Beverly Hills dinner in his honor. Asked about his own financial status, Carr just adjusted his diamond Tiffany pin and purred, "No comment." Is he trying to tell us something?

•"There's a merger on the boards between Chrysler and De Lorean," joked retired United Auto Workers chief Douglas Fraser at a Washington bash, "Iacocca will be making the automobiles and De Lorean will be making the license plates."