I'D LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T PINCH QUITE SO MUCH, PLEASE: According to a University of North Dakota survey of 200 college students, most men and women—however much sexual experience they might have had—prefer that their partners be virgins on the wedding night. Moonlighting's Cybill Shepherd took issue with the results. "I think I'd be in deep, deep trouble if I was married to someone who had no previous sexual experience," she said. "My philosophy is, if the shoe fits, wear it. But first try it on to make sure that it fits.' "

CALL HIM USER FRIENDLY: Before he hit the big time with his gone-platinum album Rock Me Tonight, Freddie Jackson had to work for a living as a computer operator in New York City on the graveyard shift. He is trying to keep success in perspective. "It's great going from having 50 typewriter keys at your fingertips to having thousands of women at your feet," says Freddie. "But both cause eyestrain."

DOES SHE KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T? Prince Andrew and bride-to-be Sarah Ferguson haven't asked her for any wedding-night advice, but Dr. Ruth Westheimer stands ready to supply it if needed. What she really wants, though, she says, is to visit the young couple at home: "I would like to come to tea at the Palace, and I promise not to talk about sex. I will talk about child-rearing."

AND SHOULD YOU ELEVATE YOUR PINKY? Everybody has trouble in life with the little things, such as what fork to use for eating ice cream or whether to hold the door for a female archbishop. For Larry, Darryl and Darryl, the backwoods trio on Newhart, the questions of etiquette are practically life-threatening. Says William Sanderson, who plays Larry, the only talking member of the threesome: "I'd like to know why I am so intimidated by cloth napkins, and Darryl [he doesn't say which one] would like to ask, 'When you are greasing an axle, do you use your right hand or your left hand?' "

MUSIC DOESN'T SOOTHE EVERY SAVAGE BREAST: Dipping one delicate, well-manicured toe into unfamiliar waters, Dynasty's Joan Collins is trying her tonsils at singing in her new miniseries, Monte Carlo, which airs next season. Collins, who's been shooting in the South of France during her Dynasty hiatus, recorded the Jerome Kern-Oscar Hammerstein classic The Last Time I Saw Paris in a studio near Nice. "I wouldn't say she is another Barbra Streisand," said Andre De Zordo, owner of the studio. "Her voice is a bit weak and we had to boost her microphone a lot against the piano." But Joan didn't let talent considerations squelch her star qualities. "She got very irritable during the recording," said De Zordo. "One moment, she would be fine and then she would start screaming and shouting. She was acting like a real artiste."

WOULD YOU BUY A USED CARPENTER FROM THIS MAN? After his Watergate-related downfall, former Nixon White House special assistant Charles Colson decided religion was the better way—at that point in time, anyway. Last week Colson was in Chicago with former President and sometime handyman Jimmy Carter and his wife, Rosalynn, helping build four houses in a depressed neighborhood. The Carters and Colson were working under the auspices of Habitat for Humanity, an ecumenical Christian group that helps provide homes for poor people. Colson said he prefers doing manual labor with Carter to doing dirty work for Nixon. "The last time I worked for a President," said Colson, "I got one to three years."