Jason Priestley, Jerry O'Connell, Gabriel Olds

This movie is flatter than roadkill—and just as useless. If teen idol Priestley, the sensitive dreamboat of Beverly Hills, 90210, were not the star of this gooey, uninspired trifle, Calendar Girl surely would have gone straight to cable.

Deservedly so. Other than some clunky, hoot-worthy dialogue ("You can't put Ben-Gay on a heartache"), the movie feels recycled. A period tale about three pals who head for Hollywood to meet Marilyn Monroe in the summer of '62, Girl features characters (the tough guy, the smart guy, the doofus) and lame jokes (about virginity and personal hygiene) that are no different, and certainly no better, than those we've already seen in countless dopey, recent teen-coming-of-age movies. Actually, there is one surprise: Priestley briefly bares his butt, revealing a large (though fake) tattoo of a devil on it.

Playing the trio's leader, Priestley emotes mightily and deserves an A for effort, but nothing here would seem to indicate that he is being woefully wasted flipping burgers at the Peach Pit. As his buds, gangly newcomer Olds shows promise portraying a shy brainiac, while O'Connell stammers and yammers convincingly as a rube. Calendar Girl, a fizzled first feature-directing effort by episodic TV veteran John Whitesell, is for confirmed Jasonites only. (PG-13)

  • Contributors:
  • Tom Gliatto,
  • Joanne Kaufman,
  • Ralph Novak,
  • Leah Rozen.