NEVER COMPLAIN, NEVER EXPLAIN," Benjamin Disraeli used to say. But he was a statesman, not a sex symbol, and he never had to put up with persistent tabloid rumors about his sexual proclivities and the state of his marriage. Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford have been trying to laugh off or ignore such stories for years. But after an April 18 article in the French weekly Void reported that the "imminent" demise of their marriage would free "Richard and Cindy...to assume their real sexuality," the couple proved that even celebrities get mad as hell and vow-not to take it anymore.

Putting up $30,000 of their own money, they took out a full-page ad in The Times of London on May 6 to declare—in their own words—"We are heterosexual and monogamous and take our commitment to each other very seriously....We both look forward to having a family."

In London, the surprising statement was scrutinized as closely as sheep entrails in ancient Rome. "A word suggests itself for this kind of extraordinary personal announcement," pronounced the Daily Telegraph. "It is the opposite of 'outing,' by which [closet] homosexuals are exposed by militant gays. This is the first such recorded 'inning' of the modern age." Newspapers took note of the provocative Vanity Fair cover Crawford posed for last year with the openly gay singer k.d. lang. The Daily Mail even hired a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, Dr. Raj Persaud, to perform a couchless analysis. "They appear to be going out of their way to refute rumours that they are homosexual," he wrote, "without tackling directly the issue of bisexuality—which is the crucial question in everyone's mind." Sadly, Dr. Persaud did not include an analysis of the ethics of ferreting out suggestive ambiguities where none seem to exist.

On May 8, Crawford headed for Texas's Greenhouse Spa with her sister, mom Jennifer and trainer-to-the-stars Radu, while Gere was in preproduction work on his next film. If gossip swirls again, the couple can always go back to ignoring it. That seems to work for Jennifer. "The rumor I've been hearing for four years now," she says with a laugh, "is that she's pregnant."