Celebrity Alimonée, Novelist Manqué, 43

FASHION PHILOSOPHY: Putting on the glitz.

HAIR: Apparent!

NEVER SEEN IN: Jeans.

Adorable? Deplorable? Or should we say Gabor-able? Former Queen of the Plaza Ivana has the money (including a $14 million settlement from The Donald) and the looks (especially since her surgeon-assisted make-over in 1989)—not to mention a cadre of big-name designers, from Versace to Ungaro to Thierry Mugler. So why does Eastern Europe's most famous export always seem, well, off? Author-authority James Brady thinks it's a case of unfortunate fashion influences. "In 20 or 25 years, she has the potential to be Zsa Zsa," he fears. Echoes image consultant Susan Bixler: "She doesn't understand understatement." Even Boaz Mazor, an executive at Oscar de la Renta—and a friend of Ivana's—says: "She should leave the canary yellow and the shocking pink to the royals."