These Folks Are Too Old to Blame Their Mommies for Dressing Them Funny. But Let's Not Blame Anyone. Let's Just Suggest—Gently—that They All Go Home and Get Changed. FLUNKING OUT: Khrystyne (Head of the Class) Haje flounced into the Batman Returns premiere in hot pants that had that satin (or, perhaps, sat-in) look.

HAREM SCARUM: For deejay Casey Kasem's wife, Jean, every night is a fright. Give it up, Jean. Just once, think Chanel.

WORST TRESSED: It's a tough cornrow to hoe, as Juliette (Husbands and Wives) Lewis has yet to learn at 19.

FURGET IT, HONEY: Patti LaBelle was out all night—way, way out—at the NAACP Image Awards, where she created an indelible image of her own.

GARTH VADER: Is Garth Brooks taking formal-wear advice from Johnny Cash? He may live at the top of the charts, but there's nobody home in his closet. So lighten up, Garth—and wear a hat, please.

AGHAST FROM THE PAST: Even the tides wouldn't take out Streisand in this batty retro getup. If this is the back-to-the-future look, we'd rather fast-forward.