Star Tracks: Monday, May 16, 2016 42 years, 2,191 covers and 55,436 stories from PEOPLE magazine's history for you to enjoy
- Beauty Queen Sentenced to Prison in Fake Cancer Scam: She 'Literally Stole from Dying People'
- Read the Cover Story: George Turns 3: The Preschool Prince!
- Michael Lohan Expresses Concern for 'Frantic' Daughter Lindsay Following Alleged Altercation with Fiancé: 'I Wanted to Get Her to a Safe Place'
- WATCH: AHS Releases First Teasers for Mysterious Season 6 – and They're Predictably Terrifying
- WATCH: Jazz Jennings Nervously Prepares for Her First Date – Even Though She Admits, 'I Still Don't Know My Sexual Orientation'
On Newsstands Now
- Matthew McConaughey: In His Own Words
- Jessa Duggar's Wedding Album
- Brittany Maynard's Final Days
Pick up your copy on newsstands
Click here for instant access to the Digital Magazine
People Top 5
LAST UPDATE: Tuesday February 10, 2015 01:10PM EST
PEOPLE Top 5 are the most-viewed stories on the site over the past three days, updated every 60 minutes
- February 17, 1992
- Vol. 37
- No. 6
Picks and Pans Main: Tube
Saturday Night Croaked
CBS (Fridays, 9 P.M. ET)
What do you get when you put a likable cast in a ludicrous premise? A show that you hate yourself for watching. Series vagabond Jack Scalia plays Nico Bonetti, an Italian cop from Brooklyn transplanted to a flaky beach precinct in California. He's teamed with a uniformed rookie (Mariska Hargitay, the daughter of bodybuilder Mickey Hargitay and bombshell Jayne Mansfield) and a French mastiff named Tequila (playing himself).
The gimmick? We can hear the dog's every thought. The mutt's stale street jive ("Get down with your bad self, home slice") is provided by Brad Sanders, the guy who, as Clarence, does a daily plot update of The Young and the Restless on the radio. Rounding out the cast is Saturday Night Live alum Charles Rocket as the police captain, a smoothie with an earring and a subscription to Variety.
The show wouldn't be so painful to watch if the criminal cases assigned to this crew weren't so inane and if the writers didn't have to work so hard to get Tequila involved in solving them.
Each episode, though, does contain little grace moments when the camera observes the characters being themselves alone. We see Bonetti moodily playing the piano, Rocket sweating over a screenplay and Rodney Kageyama, who has a recurring role as a Japanese gardener, dancing ecstatically in drag. These unexpected vignettes, presented like music videos, suggest a creativity utterly lacking in the rest of the hour.
NBC (Sun., Feb. 16, 9 P.M. ET)
A young single mother (Sarah Jessica Parker of L.A. Story) with a history of severe manic depression moves back to her Iowa hometown, relapses and is hospitalized. Her five small children are placed with foster parents (John Dennis Johnston and a brunet Sally Struthers) who fight to keep the children even after Parker is eventually discharged.
The film, based on actual events, begins to lose its impact once the custody battle between the birth and foster parents is joined, but the first hour is powerful and well acted. Parker delivers a moving performance as a disturbed woman swamped In poverty, violence and her own emotional volatility. Lexi Randall is also good as the 11-year-old, eldest child who has to function as a surrogate parent, even reminding her mom about birth-control pills when Parker stumbles home with another low-life bar pickup.
The biggest surprise is Johnston, who after a career mainly playing menacing B-movie thugs, brings coal warmth and substance to the role of the gentle farmer and foster dad.
NBC (Man., Feb. 17, 9 P.M. ET)
Like last year's And the Sea Will Tell, this is a movie based on a book rewritten by Vincent (Helter Skelter) Bugliosi detailing the former prosecutor's legal prowess. Arliss Howard plays Bugliosi in 1967, as a hotshot young assistant district attorney trying to bring a case based on circumstantial evidence against a dermis and deadly former cop (Treat Williams) involved in murder-for-insurance-money schemes.
This would qualify as merely an elaborate ego boost for Bugliosi, except for the strikingly stylish direction by Yves (Memphis) Simoneau. In fact, the movie is so visually creative and seamless that it looks absolutely cinematic, which is exceedingly rare in TV projects, where bland exposition usually rules. One other factor makes this movie Cineplex-suitable: It's unusually violent.
>RECENTLY SATURDAY NIGHT LIVES executive producer, Lorne Michaels, appeared in a skit, telling guest host Steve Martin that "the show's been on automatic pilot for years."
Sad but true, Lornemeister. Most of the time the east flounders through interminable sketches with undeveloped premises that just lie there like the oldest seal at the zoo: for instance, Julia Sweeney's ongoing no-joke routine as the androgynous Pal or guest host Christian Slater's skit about a guy trying to order Buffalo chicken wings despite the proprietor's warning that they are really, really hot. Last one out of the room, turn off the set.
Martin may have inadvertently hit the heart of the problem during his appearance. He introduced Adam Sandler and Chris Farley as the Energy Brothers, who proceeded to do nothing more than jump and twitch around the stage. "You have to keep reminding yourself," said Martin, "they have no material—they're that good." No, they're not. The show's best troupe—John Belushi, Bill Murray et al.—may have been able to get over on charisma alone. But lacking decent material, the current cast is dying a thousand deaths every Saturday night live.
Treat Yourself! 4 Preview Issues
The most buzzed about stars this minute!