LIFE LESSONS
Farrah Fawcett, who plays a tough, lippy lawyer next Monday (May 11) on an ABC made-for-TV movie, Criminal Behavior (see review, Tube Picks & Pans), says she hopes her son, Redmond O'Neal, 7, now has a better understanding about what his mom and dad, Ryan O'Neal, do for a living. "We picked him up one day from school [in 1989]," remembers Fawcett, 45, "and apparently he'd been in a video store with some of his schoolmates, and they'd seen a cassette of The Burning Bed. He asked, 'Mom, did you burn a man in a bed?' I tried to explain that I had, but it was just acting. I'm waiting," she adds jokingly, "for when he finds out about Small Sacrifices [her TV movie about a woman who murders her children] and asks, 'Mom, did you kill your kids?' "

KISS AND TELL
Actors always claim love scenes are hard work. Hard to believe, but there are times when they are right. Trini Alvarado earned her salary when she puckered up with John Goodman in The Babe, in which he plays Babe Ruth and she costars as the Sultan of Swat's first wife, Helen Woodfood. "He had rubber all over him to make him look like Babe Ruth," says Alvarado, 25. "He had rubber ears, a rubber nose and lips. It was like kissing condom lips."

STAR SEARCH
In City of Joy, Patrick Swayze plays a burned-out surgeon who finds meaning in his life by helping the poor in Calcutta. Swayze, whose last movie was the no-brainer Point Break, says he found meaning for his own life in Joy's script. "I had come to a place where my inside were screaming. Swayze, 37, says. "I had to find some place to go, or I was going to go nuts. I didn't know what was wrong. Who could I bitch to? I am a movie star and am given the opportunity to make a lot of movies. But something was missing. I couldn't feel why I was empty inside. City of Joy came along, and I realized why. I was screaming for a movie that would help me find what the next level as an actor was and then to see if I had the ability to achieve it. I waited years for a script like City of Joy to come into my life." Unfortunately for Swayze, many critics didn't find as much meaning in the movie or his performance.

THE CITY THAT NEVER SWEEPS
These days Jerry Seinfeld is bicoastal. He stays in Los Angeles while taping his eponymous sitcom for NBC and returns to New York City for the rest of the time or for special gigs, such as playing Carnegie Hall on May 15. "I miss everything about New York," says Seinfeld, 38. "The dirt. The crime. The congestion. The crumbling infrastructure. I miss it all." And how has having a hit show changed his life? "I go to work in the morning, which is new, so I shave in the morning instead of at night. That's been the biggest change. I went from night shaving to morning shaving."