CHARLES CHUCKS ONE
Maybe his mood was marred by an occasional twinge in his bad right arm. But Prince Charles pitched a fit—and a polo mallet—to protest an official's call during a match at Cirencester, May 19. Umpire Tommy Biddle stopped play when the Prince illegally rode across his opponent's line (path to the ball). Biddle called a penalty on Charles, prompting His Royal Highness to yelp, "I was on the bloody line." By match's end, Charles had reason to be more chipper: His team, Windsor Park, got the better of Laurent Perrier 12 goals to ll.

PALACE DEPRIVATION
Channel-hopper Princess Diana will have to content herself with the four stations she gets at Kensington Palace. A satellite dish would change that, but "we can't have one on our roof," Diana told comedian Kenny Everett at a charity event. "Not after all the things Charles said about [modern] architecture." Retorted Everett: "You could find a nice little baroque dish."

HANDS OFF!
When Washingtonian Alice Frazier gave Queen Elizabeth II a hug during her just-concluded U.S. visit, the Queen accepted the breach of protocol with aplomb. It was the hearty handshakes from other well-wishers that upset her. Such grips aggravated the 65-year-old monarch's arthritis, causing her to flex her fingers to relieve the pain. "She offers her hand to be touched," chided royal writer Tim Satchell. "In [England] no one would dream of grabbing it."

LUNCH CRUNCH
Princess Anne wants to just say no—to lunch. By encouraging donors to skip the meal and give money instead to the Save the Children fund, she hopes to raise $4.25 million for famine relief in Africa. Coca-Cola Great Britain promptly canceled a charity spread and gave the Princess a $3,400 check.