ONE SINGULAR DARTH VADER
In Paul Rudnick's Broadway play, I Hate Hamlet, John Barrymore's ghost tutors a struggling actor in the role of the great Dane. If that seems farfetched, well, listen to this: "I once had an offer to write the book for a musical that was pitched to me as surefire, something that couldn't fail because it was a cross between Star Wars and A Chorus Line," says playwright Rudnick, 33. "And it really was. It was about starving show people on. other planets. It was amazing and appalling. Of course you politely decline these types of offers by saying, 'Oh, gee, that's interesting. Let me think about it." And then you wait 24 hours, call back and say, 'I'm not the right person. You should really get someone who could do it justice.' "

TO ALL THE PARTS I'VE SHUNNED BEFORE
Balladeer Julio Iglesias wisely knows his showbiz limits. "I love movies and have been offered hundreds of parts, but it would be ridiculous for me to become an actor," says Julio, whose latest album is titled Starry Night. "I am not an actor, and if I were to become one, I'm confident I'd be the worst one in the world. I know myself better than that and I should. If you don't know your limitations by the time you're 47 years old, that's reason to kill yourself."

BUDDYING UP
Geena Davis admits that costar Susan Sarandon, 44, became a role model for her during the making of their new film, Thelma & Louise. "Shell be embarrassed if I say this, but Susan is my hero," says Davis, 34. "She's very strong and outspoken and presents herself the way she is. The goal I had was to be stronger, more myself and more secure in how I feel. To claim my power and take responsibility for my life." Does that mean Susan influenced Davis's decision last year to divorce actor Jeff' Goldblum? "No. Nothing like that," says Davis. "The sort of personal journey I'm talking about isn't freeing myself from men or in any way antimale."

IDOL WORSHIP
Despite rumors to the conrary, MTV veejay "Downtown" Julie Brown isn't nestling in Billy Idol's cradle of love these days. "Billy and I have been friends for 12 years," says Brown, 31. Did she ever have any romantic interest in him? "Well, his whole audience has a romantic interest in him. Why shouldn't I? He's one sexy f——— man. But if you're asking if we had sex together...In my dreams. I wish."