Dellaventura
Hot off the hit CBS miniseries The Last Don, Danny Aiello starred in a weekly show for the network—unfortunately cast as an ex-cop turned private eye with the biggest ego in the Big Apple. Just what we didn't need: a Kojak with hair.

ER's Season Premiere
Could they handle the pressure of live TV, or would the whole cast go into cardiac arrest? As long as the gimmick drew even more eyeballs than usual to NBC's monster medical hit, who cared if the episode was sloppy and dull?

Pauly
A fitting showcase for the modest talents of Pauly Shore, this short-lived sitcom from Fox may have set a TV record for most double entendres in a premiere. Shore played a horny slacker. A stretch.

Head Over Heels
This oversexed UPN sitcom about a dating service had only one distinction: first cancellation among the new fall shows.

House of Frankenstein 1997
Relentlessly hyped by NBC, this silly horror miniseries tanked in the November-sweeps ratings. Moral: You can't fool all the people all the time.

Jenny McCarthy's Shows
Not a quality year for the former co-host of MTV's Singled Out. In spring, she tried an MTV sketch series, The Jenny McCarthy Show, which found humor in vomit. Come fall, she stepped up to the NBC sitcom Jenny, which by comparison is only mildly stupid. Then again, this is a show whose best feature is George Hamilton—as a dead guy.

Meego
Bronson Pinchot, with a slight Perfect Strangers accent, in a lame CBS sitcom about an annoying alien nanny. Sounds like a case for the Men in Black.

Pirate Tales
This TBS shipwreck rated a CableACE award for worst documentary.

Larry King Live
Ever a sport, the CNN host invited scandal-scarred play-by-play man Marv Albert for an hour of softball—with no viewer phone calls to interrupt the game.

Police Academy: The Series
After seven Police Academy movies, this syndicated stinker was inevitable. If it guarantees, however, that there will be no more big-screen sequels, it will have served mankind.