It is no wonder that Valuable Korner, the adolescent heroine of Mother of Pearl, finds herself drawn to Joody Two Sun, an African-American seer and healer who lives down by the creek outside Petal, a small Mississippi town. Growing up in the Deep South in the 1950s, the daughter of the local whore, Valuable—like many of her equally confused and disaffected neighbors, black and white—needs all the help she can get.
Nor is it any wonder that Oprah Winfrey has picked this first novel by Alabama painter Melinda Haynes for her popular book club. Mother of Pearl touches on all the themes—southern race relations, coming of age, nostalgia, the confluence of social and personal problems—that the talk show host delights in. Other readers, however, may find themselves less enchanted by the novel's implausible characters, preposterous dialogue and overwrought prose style. They may also be maddened by the slow pace at which Mother of Pearl weaves together its numerous subplots and meanders around the narrative turns that you can see coming, hundreds of pages down the line. (Hyperion, $23.95)
Bottom Line: Turgid melodrama of small-town southern life
by Janet Evanovich
Beach book of the week
In this fifth comic thriller featuring Stephanie Plum, a former department store lingerie buyer turned bounty hunter, Evanovich's sassy hero has what seems a simple case: the disappearance of Uncle Fred. Fortunately, the foul-mouthed Plum is drawn into a much more complex crime involving bank-account skimming and some body parts in a plastic garbage bag. Fans of Evanovich's previous books in this series will be happy to see Steph hanging with the usual suspects: She's still flirting with hunky vice cop Joe Morelli, chasing down criminals with retired hooker pal Lula, attending funerals with her stun-gun-carrying Grandma Mazur and seeking approval from her hamster Rex. Steph has a spunky, earthy appeal—like a hot dog at the beach with a few grains of sand. (St. Martin's, $23.95)
Bottom Line: Another Plum case
by Helen Kafka and Laura Hellen
We all know Canadians are funny (think Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox). So you'd expect this parody of Simple Abundance—that annoying 1995 collection of homespun homilies—by a Toronto TV reporter and a graphic artist would be satisfyingly sardonic. Instead, most of these pseudo journal entries of women from Grand Rapids to the Garden of Eden come off as unfunny, insulting or just plain sick. What's one to make, for example, of the Las Vegas gambler who's "grateful that my Depends allowed me to stick with the same slot machine"? (Insomniac, $9.99)
Bottom Line: Be glad this isn't required reading
by Johanna Lindsey
As historical romances go, the plot of Joining is pretty predictable. Beautiful, headstrong hero Milisant Crispin is a 13th-century nobleman's daughter betrothed since childhood to a man she has met only once but can't stand. Her intended, the handsome but equally stubborn future Earl of Shefford, isn't all that crazy about her either, having been attacked by her pet falcon the first time they were brought together. Will love win out? (Does it rain in England?) First, however, the would-be lovebirds have to survive attacks from political adversaries who also oppose their union, a group that includes King John himself.
In her 35th romance novel—the first 34 have been New York Times bestsellers—author Johanna Lindsey displays her usual talents for creating intriguing characters and for weaving mini history lessons into her storytelling. If it doesn't quite make up for the uninspired premise, at least it makes for an entertaining read. (Avon, $24)
Bottom Line: Imperfect—but perfectly pleasant—union
by Mia Hamm
First comes victory in a captivating sporting event (check). Then comes the stint on Letterman (check), the trip to Disneyland (check) and the visit to the White House (check). Now there is the obligatory book, which—in the case of Mia Hamm, star of the charming U.S. squad that won the Women's World Cup only last month—hits stores with all the velocity of a scissors kick.
Aimed squarely at her young fans, Go for the Goal is must reading for any girl (or boy, for that matter) serious about soccer. A mix of aphorisms (Did you know there's "no 'me' in Mia"?) and no-nonsense advice ("Life is about competition, and the sooner you learn that, the better equipped you'll be to survive"), Hamm's authoritative insights mirror her wholesome, hardworking image. And while she glosses over the childhood that forged her gritty resolve (she was a military brat whose brother died young), what will keep your Hamm-wannabes busy are the instructional tips on everything from dribbling to making the diving header. "Yes, you may get skinned knees and elbows," she writes, "but it's worth it, if you score a spectacular goal." Has life ever been so succinctly summarized? (HarperCollins, $20)
Bottom Line: She shoots, she scores
>dating
Good dating advice can be as hard to find as a good man (or woman). If Mom's help isn't cutting it lately, give these books a try.
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating by Dr. Judy Kuriansky The truth is, Mensa members could learn something here in this guide by a well-known sex therapist. From its Six Rules of Flirting to Letting Go: The 18 Steps, this funny and comprehensive guide will wise up the lovelorn of any age and gender. Shunning sexual stereotypes (no, the man should not always pay) and acknowledging that gays and lesbians also have love lives, it is thorough, progressive and very refreshing. (Alpha, $18.95)
Get Smart with Your Heart by Suzanne Lopez Even Cupid can be stupid at times, which is why this psychotherapist turns love into an exact science. Complex quizzes and charts show that if you're an outgoing "type-three personality," like Brooke Shields, you may find Johnny Depp, a "four," too moody. (Putnam, $24.95)
Red Flags! How to Know When You're Dating a Loser by Gary S. Aumiller and Daniel A. Goldfarb Here's a concept! Within three dates, you can use the telltale signs provided here by FBI consultants to see if your guy is one of 25 loser types. Do his eyes dart? He could be the Cheater. Does he mimic your mannerisms? He may be the Leech. Once the perp is on your most-unwanted list, dump him by following the technique specific to his type. (Plume, $12.95)
Women & Love by Mira Kirshenbaum Go on enough "love adventures," says the author, and you're bound to find joy. Though sprinkled with some rather strange similes ("Love is like deep-sea diving"..."Sex is like cooking chicken"), the examination of what women really want is insightful. (Avon, $23)
Single No More by Ellen Kreidman
The title alone should motivate you to hop off the sofa and into the personals. If that doesn't work, try one of the 51 Ways to Meet Your Perfect Mate. (Anyone for jury duty?) Some tips are too obvious—if you're asked to go on a day when you're busy, "Suggest another"—but the encouragement is heartfelt, especially for the older set and single parents. (Renaissance, $22.95)
- Contributors:
- Francine Prose,
- Paula Chin,
- Cynthia Sanz,
- Alex Tresniowski,
- Jennifer Wulff.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
