As Shakespeare meant to say, "The course of true love never did run smooth. And, incidentally, that goes double for most summer vacations." With Americans plunging into the heart of summer, we asked some celebs to recall an idyll that was less than ideal.
: "Driving to Niagara Falls in 1970 with my parents, three brothers and sister and no air-conditioning."
: "A few Labor Days ago, I was swimming and suddenly cramped up. I'm waving my hands frantically for my friends to help me, and all I hear from the beach is, That George is such a jokester. Look! He's pretending to be drowning!' "
Saturday Night Live's Ana Gasteyer: "Driving cross-country from Washington, D.C., to Montana in my parents' VW Bug with a family of four, a dog and a fifth of bourbon in the back that my parents would drink when we got to the hotel."
Samuel L. Jackson: "Summer camp when I was a kid. It rained most of the day, and I got bit by a lot of mosquitoes."
Barry Bostwick: "My worst vacation was my honeymoon [to Fiji] from my first marriage. We knew we were in trouble when the plane started dipping and diving and the locals were telling us about a hurricane that was coming. [After the storm] there wasn't one flower left on the island...It was an analogy, unfortunately, for our marriage. That one didn't last."
James Cromwell: "A houseboat on the Thames. As my wife says, 'It was like living in somebody else's sardine can.' "
Donny Osmond: "I never really had a summer vacation growing up, because it was the perfect time to tour. Summer meant being on a bus, and in those days it was a Greyhound, because we didn't have custom buses. I slept in the luggage rack."
Camryn Manheim: "We drove across the country in an old yellow Studebaker, and the roof of the car collapsed. My sister and I had to hold up the fabric and the inside of the roof for 3,000 miles so my mother and father could see as we drove."
Jason Biggs: "I went on a cruise to Bermuda when I was a kid, and there were cases of Legionnaire's disease from the hot tubs, I think, so two days into it, everyone had to get off the ship and fly back."
Dennis Franz: "My wife and I were vacationing in a remote spot of Italy, and the streets were suddenly blocked due to some incident. We couldn't get back to our hotel. Suddenly, in broken English, one of the cops started yelling, 'Lieutenant Sipowicz? American lieutenant of the NYPD? You can come through the barricades!' We posed for pictures and got escorted to our hotel."
Tara Reid: "When I was 15, my family rented this house down at the Jersey Shore that was totally falling apart. We closed the windows and they broke."