Initial ratings went through the roof for this reality series that documents the strange, listless life of Anna Nicole Smith. Given her wide-open schedule, the former jeans model, her figure now inflated to Felliniesque proportions, presumably has many hours in which to dream of the day when she finally gets her hands on the millions left by her nonagenarian husband, oilman J. Howard Marshall II. (His will has been in litigation since he died in 1995.) Prattling on in a slurred, widdle-girl voice, she tries squeezing into bustiers (she refers to her breasts as "my puppies"), makes infuriatingly inane observations (on Palestinian suicide bombers: "Don't they think it was kinda painful?") and whimpers tearfully as she places her husband's urn on the TV.
You may wonder whether Smith, who seems pathetically unaware that she comes across numb and dazed, like an enormous baby dumped from its bassinet onto a hot sidewalk, is being exploited by E!—or is she exploiting herself? Like I care. This awful series, drifting from one meaningless vignette to the next, gives no indication that Smith has much humanity to be concerned about. Is that possible? What makes The Anna Nicole Show disturbing is that it's not nearly disturbing enough.
Bottom Line: No cure for the common Nicole
CBS (Sun., Sept. 1, 9 p.m. ET)
CBS marks the fifth anniversary of Princess Diana's death with a movie about Andrew Morton, the British journalist whose clandestine collaboration with her produced Diana: Her True Story. That 1992 book was Di's palace (and publishing) coup. She vaulted over the Queen's crowned head to tell the world of her bulimia, self-mutilation and depression, as well as the chill of having to dwell in the long, thin shadow of Camilla Parker Bowles. Biographer focuses on how the book came to be written. Diana (played by an uncredited actress in mere glimpses) secretly provides Morton (Paul McGann) with her reveries, taped in her private room on a dinky old recorder. Morton sees his role as rescuing the princess—a melodramatic notion that leads The Biographer into really bad taste. In one scene Morton's sleep is roiled by agita, triggering a nightmare with flashes of Diana vomiting and Morton taking a knife to his own flesh. One can only wonder what he dreamed when he went on to write about Madonna and Monica Lewinsky.
Bottom Line: The wrong write stuff
Sunday, Sept. 1 ARTHUR: IT'S ONLY ROCK 'N' ROLL PBS (check local listings) Ooh! Nick Carter as a cartoon! The Backstreet Boys turn up on the kids' series.
Monday, Sept. 2 SO GRAHAM NORTON BBC America (11 p.m. ET) And his guest is so Cher.
Tuesday, Sept. 3 THE CAROLINE RHEA SHOW Syndicated (check local listings) The pert blonde comedian sits down behind the desk vacated by Rosie O'Donnell.
Wednesday, Sept. 4 I, DETECTIVE Court TV (9:30 p.m. ET) New series lets armchair sleuths tease out the solutions to actual murder mysteries.
Thursday, Sept. 5 WILL & GRACE NBC (9 p.m. ET) Dual episodes with guest stars Molly Shannon, Michael Douglas and Lesley Ann Warren (repeat).
Friday, Sept. 6 NFL KICKOFF CONCERT CBS (10 p.m. ET) Salute to pigskin season with musical cheerleading from Jon Bon Jovi and Enrique Iglesias.
Saturday, Sept. 7 SORORITY LIFE MTV (1 p.m. ET) Leading up to the Sept. 9 finale, it's a 12-hour two-day marathon of the reality series about the girls of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Pi.
As a detective with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) on the new USA Network series Monk, Tony Shalhoub has had to pick up his share of strange habits—not all of which he can leave behind on the set. "At home I have to restack the dishwasher," says Shalhoub, 48, who lives in L.A. with his actress wife, Brooke Adams, 53, and their daughters Josie, 13, and Sophie, 8. "No one knows the proper way—it's a matter of getting the maximum amount of things in. It's a science."
He's not as scientific when it comes to choosing his roles. "I never really became an actor to play myself," says Shalhoub, who gained attention as the naive cabbie Antonio Scarpacci on the 1990s sitcom Wings. He also has a sure gig as an alien in the Men in Black films. "They can't kill my character off," he says. "They blast my head off, and it grows back."
Shalhoub is hoping that Monk, which he coproduces, will be similarly resilient, and that real OCD sufferers will embrace his portrayal. "We certainly haven't had any letter-writing campaigns so far," he says. "Imagine the campaign—it would be endless, wouldn't it?"
- Contributors:
- Amy Bonawitz.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
