As a demonstration of the perverse fusion of politics and entertainment, Monica Lewinsky hosting a FOX reality romance show might've been expected to top Viagra user Bob Dole leering at Britney Spears in those Pepsi commercials. But no. In the premiere of this five-week show, Monica, wrapped in a shawl that gave her the matronly air of a faithful duenna, merely sidled in from time to time to usher contestant Hayley Arp onto her next dating ordeal. As usual, Lewinsky's notoriety precedes her—the unstated joke here is that she already met her Mr. Personality, and he was leader of the free world—but the actual woman seems timid, insubstantial. This may change as weeks pass, but for now Lewinsky remains a footnote unsure of her place in the margins of history.
The show itself is a visually absurd twist on The Bachelorette. Arp selects a significant other from 10 finalists, judging them only on character: In the opening round, their faces were hidden by helmets. They've since switched to colored masks—red, purple, green—that make them look like pro wrestlers at different stages of headlocked asphyxiation. The suspense isn't killing me.
BOTTOM LINE: No mask appeal
Comedy Central (Wednesdays, 10:30 p.m. ET)
Critic's Choice
Martin Short once again dons a fat suit to waddle forth as outrageously fatuous talk show host Jiminy Glick, and we once again wonder about the byzantine network of synapses—and, what? submolecular gag writers leapfrogging through it?—that can produce so explosively original a character. Starting its third season, the show has lost none of its manic lunacy. Jiminy, with a gluttonous appetite for old-Hollywood gossip (and doughnuts), is clueless when interviewing contemporary celebrities: He informs Ice Cube that Rex Harrison pioneered rap in My Fair Lady. Then, voice oscillating between a fey purr and a growl, he asks what he thinks is a killer question: "What is the ice obsession about—'cause you're cold, or because when heated you melt?" Ice Cube, who plays along beautifully with this unscripted nonsense, glares at Jiminy in scornful disbelief. Then he jumps him.
BOTTOM LINE: Prime comedy
CBS (Sun., May 4, 8 p.m. ET)
Lucille Ball may have been a superb physical comedian and one of the most significant women in the history of the television—may have been? was—but in her personal life she doesn't seem to have suffered the whipsaw reversals of fortune or catastrophic breakings of heart that make for a juicy TV movie. Even after her acrimonious 1960 divorce from lover, business partner and I Love Lucy costar Desi Arnaz, she and the ex "remained friends for the rest of their lives," or so this limp dramatization tells us. The real Lucille Ball saga is more one of hard work and diligence, leading her from near failure as a B-player for the major studios to a producer with a studio all her own. Not surprising, then, that Lucy comes fully to life only when detailing how Ball, with advice from Buster Keaton, perfected the slapstick comedy that made her TV career.
York, better known as a Broadway performer, is good at mimicking Ball's on-camera antics, but the physical resemblance is weak: Even with her head topped with Ball's trademark red mop, York has a distinctively angular face and a strong slash of a mouth. You get the strange, blurry impression of Joan Crawford playing Lucille Ball—or maybe even Faye Dunaway playing Crawford playing Ball. As Desi, Danny Pino (The Shield) has the easier role, but he does well enough by it: It's a smooth, relaxed performance.
This whole three-hour shebang appears to have been shot on a budget of about $270, which doesn't do much for verisimilitude.
BOTTOM LINE: Waaaaaah!
MTV (Mondays, 10:30 p.m.)
Ashton Kutcher, giggling behind concealed video monitors with the glee of a kid given permission to blow up his train set, is the mastermind behind dumb but elaborate stunts played out on the likes of Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson and 7th Heaven's Jessica Biel. Example: A small troupe of actors pretends to be white-trash in-laws of singer Nick Lachey. They park their vee-hicle outside his home and demand $5,000 to get out of his hair. Lachey never loses his cool, but voices here are as routinely bleeped out as on The Osbournes. It's more fun than most hidden-camera shows: Kutcher keeps his in-your-face energy from boiling over into obnoxious-ness. And there are worse ways to waste a half hour than watching stars being humiliated.
BOTTOM LINE: Not bad for a punk
Sunday, May 4 ALIAS ABC (9 p.m. ET) Two-hour season finale. Sydney has an important tête-à-tête with her mom.
Monday, May 5 CROSSING JORDAN NBC (8 p.m. ET) Another season finale. Revelations about Jordan and her mom.
Tuesday, May 6 WARRIOR CHALLENGE PBS (times may vary) Historical fight club: Reality series re-creates the world of knights, gladiators and Vikings.
Wednesday, May 7 ANGEL FOX (9 p.m. ET) Season wrap-up. Nothing about anyone's mom.
Thursday, May 8 FIRST ANNUAL MISS DOG BEAUTY PAGEANT FOX (8 p.m. ET) Fifty-one lady canines competing for a crown. There's an evening-wear segment. Woof!
Friday, May 9 MURDER, SHE WROTE CBS (9 p.m. ET) Angela Lansbury's Jessica Fletcher returns in a two-hour mystery titled The Celtic Riddle.
Saturday, May 10 THE DISTRICT CBS (9 p.m. ET) Pays tribute to the late, great Lynne Thigpen and says farewell to her character, Ella.
It has been four years since Richard Karn hung up his tool belt as flannel-clad Al Borland on the '90s hit Home Improvement, but it took a reunion special for him to realize the show's lasting impact. "I looked into the audience and saw that three out of four men were dressed in plaid," says Karn of filming the May 4 ABC special. "When you lead a normal life, you aren't aware of how you affect people."
A normal life is what Karn, 47, has been striving for ever since the show wrapped its nine-year run in '99. Although he regularly bests Home star Tim Allen on their weekly golf outings—"I have more time to practice because Tim is always on location doing movies"—Karn has spent most of his post-Home years nesting in L.A. with his wife, actress Tudi Roche, 47, and son Cooper, 11. He even chose his latest gig—hosting the syndicated game show Family Feud—because it is taped over just 12 weekends a year. "I don't like to be away from my family for long periods," says the actor. Showbiz "can become a tug of war between your family and career, and the family tug usually wins." Still, he admits that taking the helm of the 27-year-old game show has been a fun challenge. "You steal elements from the past," says Karn, who has studied the style of legendary Feud host Richard Dawson, 70. "But I don't have the inclination to kiss the guests. I just give them a hug."
- Contributors:
- Frank Swertlow.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
