If you've been pining for a movie in which, in between the jokes, you see folks shot through the forehead (with their brains exploding out the backs of their skulls), dripping close-ups of severed limbs, a kidney plucked from a corpse and an already dead guy blown to smithereens when his body falls on a land mine, Bad Boys II is for you. If there were an artistic or thematic point to this excessive mayhem—did I mention the massive shoot-outs and car chases in which more than two dozen vehicles are smashed?—it might be justifiable, but there isn't. It's there purely for entertainment value, the cinematic equivalent of gladitorial gorefests in ancient Rome.
In this sequel to the 1995 action thriller, again bombastically directed by Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor), Smith and Lawrence reprise their roles as, respectively, detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett. Spatting partners on the Miami police department's narcotics squad, they're trying to nail a Cuban drug czar (Spanish heartthrob Mollà, in a droll turn). Also hoping to trap the dealer is an undercover DEA agent (Union), who just happens to be Marcus's sister and Mike's secret crush.
Despite the energetic efforts of Smith and Lawrence, Boys is yet another hyperventilating sequel with an inflated plot and running time (nearly 2½ hours). Which is a shame, because when it pauses between shoot-outs to let its two stars teasingly rag on each other, their potent comic chemistry is a blast to behold. (R)
BOTTOM LINE: Too long, too violent
Mandy Moore, Allison Janney, Trent Ford, Alexandra Holden
The Motion Picture Association of America's rating board should consider adding a new category: R-NA. That stands for Restricted—No Adults, a designation that could be slapped on such teencentric twaddle as How to Deal, a movie likely to be appreciated only by those 16 and younger. Of course, adolescents deserve films in which they are the center of the universe and their angst is taken seriously—but ones more astute than Deal.
Moore, the bland singer-actress who starred in last year's loathsome teen weepie A Walk to Remember, here is Halley, a 17-year-old wary of love. Having suffered when her folks (the always able Janney and Peter Gallagher) split up, she resists the gangly cutie (Ford) who keeps asking her out. Deal, teeming with melodrama and montages set to soft rock songs, always seems more WB than real world. (PG-13)
BOTTOM LINE: For teens only
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Audrey Tautou
Critic's Choice
In the wee hours, a night clerk at a London hotel discovers a human heart clogging a toilet in a room. In this fascinating, atmospheric whodunit directed by Stephen Frears (High Fidelity), the clerk (Ejiofor), at great risk, investigates just how the organ ended up there.
Dirty Pretty Things is a suspense thriller with—dare we say it?—heart. The clerk, who had been a doctor back in Nigeria, is now an illegal immigrant, and so are the Turkish maid (Tautou) he befriends and nearly everyone else in his hardscrabble world. These recent arrivals toil at low-wage jobs and live with the constant threat of arrest, making them vulnerable to economic exploitation and worse. It's the worse that makes Things tick.
The film goes astray late in the game, but there's no faulting British stage actor Ejiofor's moving, exquisitely nuanced performance. Tautou (Amélie) is less effective, though affecting. (R)
BOTTOM LINE: A thriller that thrills
Rowan Atkinson, Natalie Imbruglia
Atkinson is England's answer to Jim Carrey. In pursuit of a laugh, Atkinson will behave with utmost stupidity, pull the silliest of stunts, contort himself into impossible positions—and all with a blissed-out look of regal imperturbability. Get laughs he does, even in a vehicle as ragged as Johnny English, a spy spoof otherwise as crumbly thin as a teatime crumpet.
The key to his title character here (similar to that of the bumbler whom Atkinson portrayed in 1997's Bean) is that he blithely sails through life thinking he's smarter than everyone else when the opposite is true. In Johnny, Atkinson is a lowly, accident-prone member of British intelligence who longs to make like James Bond. He gets his chance when, due to his own negligence, all the top agents are killed and the crown jewels are stolen.
Kids will enjoy English the most—11 is the perfect age—and adults not averse to finding humor in low places will chuckle a bit. Movies like this, though, always look better on video than on the big screen. (PG)
BOTTOM LINE: Johnny be not so good
•Garage Days An exuberant, appealing comedy from Down Under about would-be rockers in Sydney. Members of a fledgling band romance and bicker as they try to land their first gig. Alex Proyas (Dark City) directed. (R)
•The Housekeeper A lonely middle-aged man (Jean-Pierre Bacri) is infatuated with his young cleaning lady (Emilie Dequenne) in a slight, rueful French comedy. (With subtitles) (Not rated)
•Northfork This gorgeously shot drama about folks fleeing a Montana town on the verge of being flooded in 1955 plays like a dream—but one that's difficult to interpret. Nick Nolte stars. (PG-13)
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
