This practice of cloning channels could lead to many exciting developments. One possibility is the Family Channel2. For years, the Family Channel has been airing wholesome fare like The Waltons and Highway to Heaven, but recently it has also begun showing episodes of The Three Stooges. Because The Three Stooges was always a bit sadistic, perhaps even a bit gross, it might be better for Pat Robertson to ship those programs over to the more mature Family Channel. He could name the new spinoff the Dysfunctional Family Channel.
Another possibility is the TV Food Network2, which could run programs aimed at viewers who like to fry, leaving the Food Network with its core audience of viewers who prefer to broil.
Some spinoff channels that might find a wide audience include The Lifetime Channel2, which could air programs about death, and USA2, which could exclusively show reruns of the already ubiquitous Silk Stalkings. And, of course, the channel we're all waiting for: VH1-2.
Most exciting of all might be a new channel called PBS2. As a way of allaying viewer fatigue, PBS could continue to broadcast Mobil Masterpiece Theatre, Live from Lincoln Center and Charlie Rose on the flagship channel, while its sibling PBS2 could operate as a 24-hour-a-day, fund-raising channel, airing the endlessly recycled Beatles' Let It Be and John Tesh Live at Red Rocks several times a day, every single day of the year. That would certainly make PBS1 much more enjoyable.
One final possibility is the Weather Channel2, which could devote itself to foreign weather, weather from parts of the country that nobody really cares about, or even unpleasant weather. The parent channel would then be known as the Nice Weather Channel and its offspring as the Inclement Weather Channel. It's just a thought.
Showtime (Sun., July 28, 8 p.m. ET)
C
A few good intergalactic men battle ruthless space pirates in this 21st-century thriller, where the spaceships look like gigantic electric razors and the aircraft look like they came out of a cereal box. Though veteran actor Meg Foster is the biggest name, the real star is Billy Wirth as a not especially bright marine. If this is the best acting he can muster, we're all a lot better off if he stays out there in deep space. Hamstrung by a pitiful screenplay and some absurdly cheesy special effects, Space Marines has one redeeming feature: John Pyper-Ferguson's over-the-top performance as the theatrical pirate leader.
>The Sitcom 'Strike'
MAKING NEW FRIENDS
HOLLYWOOD EXECS WERE CLUTCHING THEIR CHESTS LAST week amid reports that the cast of NBC's Friends had threatened to strike unless all six received raises from about $40,000 to $100,000 per episode and a percentage of the show's profits. Would they really walk? One insider says no, adding, "There was never a threat to strike," and negotiations "are amicable." Still, with the new season scheduled to begin taping Aug. 12, the producers definitely need to think about replacement Friends. We have.
Out: Courteney Cox Arquette. In: Kathleen Sullivan. Sullivan, off the E! channel but still a Weight Watcher, could continue the tradition of a Monica who keeps getting thinner.
Out: Jennifer Aniston. In: Shannen Doherty. Hey, in real life not every friend is a good friend.
Out: Lisa Kudrow. In: Elizabeth Berkley. They look alike, but would Berkley be believable as a bad folksinger? If you saw Showgirls, you know bad anything won't be a stretch.
Out: Matthew Perry. In: Luke Perry. In TV, when you need a sub and all else fails, go for a similar name. Remember Dick Sargent replacing Dick York as Darrin on Bewitched?
Out: David Schwimmer. In: Fyvush Finkel. Every ensemble show needs a character who is adorably "ethnic." With Picket Fences canceled, Finkel steps right in.
Out: Matt LeBlanc. In: Robert Blake. LeBlanc sure looks like a young Blake. Unfortunately, Blake, since he got a facelift, does not look like Blake anymore.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
