Their quick rise to pop-cultural prominence may have peaked Oct. 19. That was when Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, coauthors of 'The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, were parodied in a Saturday Night Live skit as a pair of brassy, man-trapping dating gurus. ("You've got to get the ring, ladies!")

Their book may be ripe for satire, but their success is no joke. With some 900,000 paperback copies in print, The Rules—35 old-fashioned dating tips that essentially advise women to play hard to get (see box)—has shot to No. 1 on The New York Times's How To bestseller list. Fein, 39, and Schneider, 37, have a Rules hotline, a monthly newsletter, 25 support groups around the country, a movie deal and a follow-up book in the works. They also make a tidy living conducting one or two seminars a month ($50 per head) and $250-an-hour personal consultations.

A native of New York's Long Island, Fein has been married to a pharmacist for 12 years and has two children. Schneider, born in Manhattan, wed the owner of a hardware store two years ago and is expecting her first child in December. They discussed their dating strategies with correspondent Mary Esselman.

How did The Rules come about?

SS: Fifteen years ago we would meet in Chinese restaurants once a week and talk about our dating problems. Ellen and I started telling our friends what we thought they were doing wrong. We would just have little Rules seminars over dinner. It spread by word of mouth, and we were inundated with calls, and it got to the point where we just felt that we had to write it down. We never set out to write a bestseller.

Why is the book such a hit?

EF: Because the Rules work, and friends tell their friends.

SS: We get so many calls and letters. Some feminists and fringe people are critical, but a lot of them haven't read the book. They just assume that we're telling women to be ditzes and wear miniskirts. On the contrary, we're saying, talk about politics, talk about current events, just don't talk about wanting to get married.

How should a woman start the dating game?

EF: It might sound superficial, but appearance counts. Eat right (fruits, vegetables), shake your buns (join a gym). Personal shoppers can help find clothes that look good on you. Don't be a fashion slave—just because bell-bottoms and clogs are in vogue doesn't mean they will look good on you. Be feminine. Be quiet and mysterious. The better you feel, the more desirable you will become.

What is the most common dating mistake women make?

SS: Staying in a relationship that doesn't exist. The guy shows no romantic interest, but the woman continues the pursuit. Rules girls don't hang around where they are not wanted.

How do Rules girls handle rejection?

EF: Try to be positive. The more you practice, the better you will get at feeling good. The day Daryl Hannah heard that JFK Jr. got married, she may have felt sad. But 48 hours later, she should have been thinking, "I'm a good-looking girl. It didn't work out. Next!" She should get up, brush herself off, get a new dress and move on.

Was Carolyn Bessette a Rules girl?

EF: From what I've read, she seemed to be acting in a very Rules fashion by being a creature unlike any other—attractive, feminine, mysterious. I've never met her, but she's just a natural.

Do you really think men are as callow as you suggest? And as easily duped?

SS: No, just that it is a fundamental truth that men like a chase. That's why they like the stock market and sports. It's part of a basic instinct. That's why the Rules work so well.

Did you use the Rules to hook your husbands?

EF: I did every Rule. When we started dating, I continued to see other men. We dated a year and got engaged. I didn't want to live together, so he moved the date up six months.

SS: I followed the Rules 100 percent. I wasn't seeing him more than once or twice a week, even toward the end. I kept our conversations brief. I never brought up marriage. He did.

Why do you refuse to let your husbands be interviewed or photographed?

EF: We wrote the book, they didn't. They're proud of us, but we don't want to drag them into all the publicity. I don't want my husband to be kidded.

SS: It's just private.

What do you tell women who try, but end up breaking the Rules?

EF: When you break the Rules, you take away the pleasure men get from pursuing you. The Rules way is not a hobby but a religion. Keep doing the Rules until the ring is on your finger.

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Fein and Schneider advise women to "trust in the natural order of things—namely, that man pursues woman." Here is a Rules sampler:

Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance) "Otherwise, how will you know if he spotted you first and had to have you or is just being polite?"

Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls

"He won't think you're rude, just busy or hard to get—and men always call again."

Always End Phone Calls First "Don't stay on the phone for more than 10 minutes. Buy a timer if you have to."

Don't Open Up Too Fast "Dating is not therapy. Be intelligent but light, interesting yet mysterious. No man wants to hear how wrong or messed up your life has been before he really loves you."

No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date "Tell yourself that other women have spoiled men by sleeping with them on the first date, but you're a Rules girl and you take your time."

Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week "Let him think that he is not the only man in your life. We know how painful this can be. But, girls, you must put your foot down! Don't make seeing you so easy."

Don't Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment) "He either loves you or he doesn't, and playing house and cooking breakfasts won't change a thing."

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