ACTION
Frank Martin (Statham) is a tough guy who's hurting inside. When his comely, married employer (Valletta) pays a late-night visit to his Miami cottage in search of sympathy and possibly carnal comfort, she tells him, "I feel so lost, so confused."
"Who isn't?" Martin commiserates.
Then again, this kick-butt action hero suffers so many beatings, though always giving better than he gets, that he's frequently hurting on the outside too. In a ludicrously plotted but flashy sequel to 2002's The Transporter, Martin must rescue a young boy from kidnappers intent on injecting the child with a deadly virus. This assignment requires Martin to drive cool cars at breakneck speed, dodge automatic-weapons fire and beat up a dozen opponents simultaneously using his crack martial arts skills, all while barely wrinkling his dapper suit and tie.
Statham is an appealing star, but Transporter 2 doesn't add up to much. The action scenes are so extravagantly preposterous that a viewer is more apt to guffaw than gasp. (PG-13)
Cole Hauser, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian, Piper Perabo, Lena Headey
HORROR
In this waterlogged film, a group of professional divers goes deep into a watery cave in Romania's Carpathian mountains only to discover—big surprise—that they are not alone. Glub, glub, glub.
The Cave is as unimaginative as its title. Its plot, characters and special effects are all hopelessly generic. Ifs so ho-hum that you'll find yourself trying to recall whether it's stalactites or stalagmites that hang from above (it's stalactites) and wouldn't this be a swell time for a bunch to fall and fatally pierce all the characters. (PG-13)
Pell James, Steven Strait, Ashlee Simpson, Kip Pardue
ROMANCE
Young love has never been so insipid as depicted here. In a flick that belongs on The WB, a successful New York model (James) heads to L.A. to try an acting career. There she's wooed by a would-be rocker (Strait). These two kids are goofy in love with each other but must overcome various artificial obstacles before the final clinch. To put it nicely, one would have to be a moony 13-year-old girl to believe—or care about—a minute of this twaddle.
Simpson plays a fledgling actress-singer who's friendly with both halves of the pair. She's way peppier than either lead and more natural onscreen than older sister Jessica was a month back in the egregious Dukes of Hazzard. (PG-13)
The Constant Gardener
A British diplomat (Ralph Fiennes) in Africa investigates the murder of his pregnant wife (Rachel Weisz) in an achingly complex thriller based on a novel by John le Carre. Director Fernando Meirelles (City of God) turns his camera on the noise and color of Africa, finding beauty amid the chaos. (R)
Broken Flowers
Bill Murray offers an outstanding performance-give this guy an Oscar already--as a middle-aged Don Juan who takes a road trip to look up old girlfriends (including Jessica Lange and Sharon Stone). Jim Jarmusch directed. (R)
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Steven Carell scores laughs in a likable comedy that goes on too long. (R)
SNEAK PREVIEW
Despite A.C. in his fat suit, Martin Lawrence had a steamy summer in New Orleans filming the sequel, which hits theaters Jan. 27. The actor spent two hours each day becoming the undercover FBI agent—this time taking a gig as a nanny.
Lena Headey: The British actress, 28, costars in The Cave but got some real scares making her other new movie, the fantasy flick The Brothers Grimm.
ON HER GRIMM COSTARS I met Matt [Damon] and Heath [Ledger] in Prague [where the movie was filmed]. I was absolutely terrified, but they were just lovely.
ON PLAYING A HUNTER I had to skin a dead rabbit. I tried, but I couldn't handle skinning a nearly warm animal. I said, "Look, I'm sure you can hook up a fake one." So that's what we used.
ON KISSING A TOAD There wasn't a taste. It was just kind of bumpy. Once you've done it, you don't want to do it again.
ON KISSING MATT AND HEATH They're both gorgeous. Heath's lips are soft and Matt's are full. They were a little better than the toad!
ON WHAT'S SCARIER THAN THE GRIMMS' FAIRY TALES Matt masterminded to get me a stripper. We were at a party, and this guy came out in PVC white shorts and a white jacket. I told Matt, "This is what I'm going to have nightmares about."
CRASH ($28.98)
CRITIC'S CHOICE Movie:
An astute drama about racial and ethnic prejudice among a group of Los Angeles residents, this is the best movie out so far this year. Stars include Sandra Bullock, Matt Dillon and Terrence Howard.
Extra: Director-cowriter Paul Haggis and star-producer Don Cheadle amusingly explain in an audio commentary how the restraints of a low budget spurred creativity.
- Contributors:
- Leah Rozen,
- Julie Jordan.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
