CELEB-ITAPHS
Getting grave for Halloween, stars tell us what their headstones should say

"DRINK UP, ON ME." AND MY TOMBSTONE WOULD HAVE A TAP AND A KEG COMING OUT OF IT.
—CARSON DALY

"PLEASE, PLEASE MAKE SURE I'M DEAD."
—JOAN RIVERS

"HE WAS KINDA FUNNY."
—CHRIS ROCK

"NO OSCARS, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE A GAME NAMED AFTER ME."
—KEVIN BACON

"I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK."
—AMBER TAMBLYN

"YOUR PRETTY FACE IS GOING TO HELL."
—JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

"THE GIRL WHO TAUGHT JANET JACKSON THE SNAKE."
PAULA ABDUL

I READ THIS SOMEWHERE: "WHEN I DIE, I DONT WANT MY BODY TO BE PERFECT, I WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE I SLID INTO THE GRAVE SHOUTING, WHAT A RIDE!"
—ANTHONY LAPAGLIA