What it is: The official royal Christmas card, photographed at Highgrove House by Mario Testino.

Why it's good: Money raised by sales of the card's photo to international publications supports Prince Charles's new program to provide water to drought-stricken villages in India.

What it could say (but won't): Lord, what a year—it was almost normal! Harry—how quickly that one grew up!—coached rugby and went globe-trotting with Chelsy Davy, a society beauty from Zimbabwe. Seems like a calming influence; maybe he won't go attacking paparazzi anymore. And Will seems to be back with his St. Andrews flatmate Kate Middleton. As for me, they're calling me "old-fashioned and out of time." What else is new? Well, I'm still not King. Merry Christmas.