• April 25, 2005
• Vol. 63
• No. 16

Scoop

BEN AFFLECK, Mr. Comedy!
BOSTON TAKES A CHANCE ON A STAND-UP NEWCOMER. BA-DA-BING!

Apparently the Boston Red Sox make Ben Affleck giddy. After cheering on his beloved team's April 11 win at Fenway Park, he swung freely while emceeing a postgame dinner for the Red Sox Foundation. Some highlights:

The World Series rings that the Sox players received prior to the game?

"My ex-girlfriend wouldn't take [batter David Ortiz's] ring. It's only [his] fourth-largest piece of jewelry!"

Steroid testing in baseball?

"If they test for chimichangas or excessive peroxide, David Ortiz [left] and Bronson Arroyo are facing lifetime bans!"

Girlfriend Jennifer Garner's secret crush on catcher Jason Varitek?

"[Varitek] can be my girlfriend's boyfriend so long as [he's Yankee] A-Rod's daddy!"

Tips for center fielder Johnny Damon, who shot an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?

"If Ben Affleck tells you you're over-exposed, that's like hearing it from Paris Hilton!"

You've been a wonderful audience. Thank you and good night!

BEN'S FAVORITE BLING

J.LO'S ENGAGEMENT RING
•A 6.1-carat pink diamond
•Four-month courtship
•Returned to jeweler

RED SOX WORLD SERIES RING
•Multiple red and white gems
•86-year courtship
•Unlikely to wind up on eBay

Olsens in Overdrive

The launch of the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen furniture line this month—about 20 Victorian-style pieces—may cause one to wonder: How much more can these twins do? Their late-night trips to Manhattan restaurants and hot spots are legendary. On April 7 Ashley left Marquee at 2:15 a.m.; the following night, Mary-Kate left the same club at 3 a.m. Both have internships; each recently acquired a dog. And, oh yes, they are full-time students at New York University. So do they fear exhaustion? Are they skimping on schoolwork? "There rarely is a conflict between their academic responsibilities and their work," says their rep, Michael Pagnotta. "They've had to create a balance between work and school their entire lives, and that continues." Besides, he notes, "school's over in a couple of weeks anyway."

CELEBRITY

PLUG OF THE WEEK

"They are amazing. They're toilet-paper free.... It's warm, too, so it's beautiful."
—Will Smith, quoted in a press release touting the $5,200 Neorest high-tech toilet, billed as a "robotic toilet/personal cleansing system combo."

Eva Las Vegas
Eva Longoria took a break from Wisteria Lane April 9 to emcee the grand opening of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. Although she opted out of dancing with the Cats—Charlize Theron, Gwen Stefani and Christina Aguilera have participated in the burlesque act in the past—Longoria, 30, did dress the part by getting into a sexy sequined costume with fishnets, leather boots and a riding crop. "I'm excited because I get to dress up and that's always fun," she says. But don't count on skimpy wear for her role in the upcoming drama The Sentinel. "[There are] no panties, no bras, no lingerie and I don't have to kiss anyone," says Longoria. "It's a welcome change."

J.LO'S REAL ESTATE DEAL
Jennifer Lopez's latest profit? More than $4 million, after selling her 11-bedroom 1929 Miami Beach estate for nearly $14 million to a wealthy Fisher Island couple. Lopez bought the mansion, which features a pool and gazebo, in 2002 for $9.5 million, and shared it—first with Ben Affleck, then husband Marc Anthony.

DEMI: Versace's New Star
This winter? Madonna. This summer? Demi Moore. The actress will be the new face and physique of Versace in a series of print ads that will follow up the company's recent campaign featuring the Material Girl as a sexy office worker. No word on how much Moore received for the gig, but expect to see the ads this August.

USHER'S NEW GIRL
This year Usher showed up at the Grammys, the Oscars and even the NAACP Image Awards with stunning model Eishia Brightwell on his arm. So is it love for the commitment-phobic singer? His rep wouldn't say, but a source close to Usher insists that they have been a couple for months. "She is so right for him," says the insider. "They are both very goofy and playful." And it may be a good sign that Usher recently brought Brightwell along to Atlanta's Carter-Barnes hair salon for the birthday of his mom-manager, Jonnetta Patton. All had manicures and pedicures.

Is Lindsay's Dad Going to Prison?
A few miles away from where Lindsay Lohan has been filming her upcoming comedy Just My Luck, her estranged dad, Michael Lohan, was in handcuffs on Long Island April 12, being arraigned on felony charges for driving with a suspended license. Michael pleaded not guilty and has been held without bail at the Nassau County Correctional Center since getting into a fiery car crash on Feb. 19. His lawyer would like to see him sentenced to a rehab program. But Assistant District Attorney Joy Watson says she'll be seeking a 1 1/3-to-4-year prison sentence at Lohan's next hearing, on April 26. "He has not been successful with these programs in the past," Watson says. "Hopefully incarceration will get him to change."

The Smoking Gun

Chris Klein's DWI Arrest
According to a criminal complaint obtained this week by Court TV's The Smoking Gun, actor Chris Klein was arrested earlier this year—on Feb. 5—for DWI in San Diego County. Klein, who is scheduled to be arraigned later this month, was briefly booked into a detention facility, where he posed for mug shots and was fingerprinted.

POP QUIZ

Muhammad Ali

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee; let him at Frazier, he'll take him in three; he's that fund-raising genius, Muhammad Ali! The forever champ recently presided over Celebrity Fight Night, a Phoenix, Ariz., benefit that has raised more than $25 million for Parkinson's disease research over 10 years. Ali, 63, who suffers from Parkinson's, spoke with Scoop via e-mail.

What's daily life like?

I travel a lot for business and for charity. When I'm at home I rest and work at my office. I built a gym on my farm in Michigan several years ago, and while I don't have a daily routine, I try to exercise several times a week.

What do you read? Do you watch much television?

My reading focuses mainly on Islamic and biblical texts; I also read studies on Sufism. I recently published a book called The Soul of a Butterfly, which talks a lot about my spirituality and reflections on life. I don't watch a lot of TV.

Did you catch Million Dollar Baby at the movies?

I haven't had a chance to see Million Dollar Baby yet, but I admire Clint Eastwood and his work, so I will definitely watch it soon.

Favorite magic trick?

That's a hard question. Whatever magic trick I am doing, it is the look of amazement in the eyes of the people watching that I enjoy the most. I also like to reveal how I do it afterward. As a Muslim, I don't believe in deceiving people, so I always tell how the trick is done.

How is the family?

Very good. [My wife] Lonnie and I live quietly in Michigan, which I prefer to the hustle of Chicago or Los Angeles. Our son Asaad [13] is still at home. My daughter Hana [28] lives nearby, so I see them the most. My other children live all over, and they call me often. I feel loved by all of them, so what more could a father want?

Any good signs in the battle against Parkinson's?

If you are referring to research, there are many promising developments. The good signs direct us toward a belief that we may be able to knock out Parkinson's disease in the near future.

ON THE BLOCK

ROB'S ROOST
PRICE: Estimated $25 million
PLACE: Montecito, Calif.

Rob Lowe and his wife, Sheryl, are selling their 5.6-acre estate with ocean and mountain views. The seven-bedroom home, featured on the cover of Architectural Digest in 2001, comes with a guesthouse, pool and pool house. Added bonus: Neighbors include John Travolta and Oprah Winfrey. Lowe plans to build a new home nearby.