Training camp is usually a time for athletes to voice boundless optimism about the coming season, when even Jets can dream of the Super Bowl. And then there's Kobe Bryant, who seems to be discovering that preseason bravado is a luxury he can no longer afford. Arriving at the Lakers training camp in Honolulu Oct. 3, Bryant looked weary and uncomfortable. "You can't imagine what it's like going through what I'm going through," he told reporters at a practice. One of the few things that perked him up was showing off an elaborate tattoo—his first—that he had recently gotten honoring his wife, Vanessa, and 9-month-old daughter Natalia. "I got this because she's my angel," he said, referring to his wife. "She's a blessing to me, her and Natalia both."

But if family was on Bryant's arm, a looming legal battle was on his mind. In the days leading up to his Oct. 9 preliminary hearing on rape charges in Eagle, Colo., it appeared increasingly likely that his legal team would waive the right to that proceeding, which was scheduled to be open to the public, on the theory that a media blitz could only do more harm. (Even if the prelim is waived, Bryant is obliged to appear in Eagle for arraignment and a bail hearing.)

Bryant seemed particularly upset by a published report that his marriage had been on the rocks well before the alleged rape, an assertion he called "completely untrue." Explaining his extra security in Hawaii—he never went anywhere without three bodyguards—Bryant said, "It's very difficult for me to trust anybody." One of his few excursions was to join teammates for a game of paintball at a local Air Force base, then shoot hoops with kids of the military personnel. Bryant also admitted that stress had contributed to his 15-lb. weight loss. "You have your good days," he said, "you have your bad days." These days, it seems, the former are in very short supply.

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