By Tonya Lewis Lee and Crystal McCrary Anthony
Tandy Brooks is a widowed Park Avenue doyenne on the verge of financial ruin, Manny Marks an Alabama-born gay country boy who made good and moved to Chelsea. One's clinging to and one's climbing for the same prize—a place among the cérme de la créme of New York City's black aristocracy—and neither will stop at anything to get what they want. That includes joining forces to defraud the rich, gorgeous Lauren Thomas, the one person who thinks they can do no wrong. Their relentless conniving sets into motion a decadent romp that's sure to entertain while reminding readers that money isn't everything.
Anthony and Lee (the spouses of former NBA-star-turned-ESPN-commentator Greg Anthony and filmmaker Spike Lee, respectively) are clearly familiar with Manhattan's rarefied social scene, capturing and skewering the nuances and neuroses of its inhabitants. Lauren is too perfect to be real, but that's more than made up for by the deliciously wicked portrayals of strivers Manny and Tandy. Toss in an entertaining collection of minor characters, information on what not to eat after a colonic (fast food) and tips on getting into the right co-op (don't bring your beefy bodyguards to the interview) and you've got the perfect escape package, whether your destination is the backyard, the bathtub or the beach.
NOVEL
By Tony Hendra
CRITIC'S CHOICE
In this nuanced memoir of his 40-year friendship with a Benedictine monk, Tony Hendra, an occasional actor (This Is Spinal Tap) and former editor of National Lampoon, offers a smart, funny and ultimately inspiring account of his life as a flawed Christian. Hendra meets Father Joe, a "gargoyle of a man," at 14, when, after being caught groping an older, married woman from his English village, the lad is sent on a retreat to a monastery. There, instead of passing judgment, Joe stokes his curiosity by saying, "The only sin you've committed is the sin of selfishness."
Even as Hendra began ricocheting between America and England and finding worldly success, the man he called "my still center, the rock of my soul" was available for long walks and gentle counsel. Those, and a constant "connection...to the divine, to the Better, to whatever that God-thing is out there." More profound than Tuesdays with Morrie (whose narrator recounts a similar spiritual journey), this book is a standout.
MEMOIR
By Eleanor Herman
What can kindling a king's loins do for a girl's place in the world? According to this diverting history, less than you'd think. Some who bedded the likes of Louis XV and George II were simply long-suffering ladies, waiting for His Highness to call. (Guys, you know?) Mistresses like Barbara Palmer, though, were empowered badasses who planned ahead—hoarding baubles, having babies—and landed titles. Herman, an ex-magazine editor who adores all things royal, breaks no news here, but you'll come away with new perspective on Camilla Parker Bowles.
NON FICTION
By Eric Garcia
If dogs can learn new tricks, why can't men? Such is the challenge before Cassandra French, a self-styled educator aiming to turn the misbehavin' dates she has chained in her basement into Prince Charmings. On the syllabus: flicks like Pretty Woman and fashion classes. Dark humor and zany plot twists abound, and, come graduation, the boys' change from dogs to doters is gloriously complete.
NOVELBy Kit Reed
Think The Swan has taken society's emphasis on body image too far? The lives of the reality show's contestants are a piece of cake compared with what goes on in Reed's dystopia, where chubsters are forced into weight-loss "concentration camps" and anorexics, bulimics and the truly obese are kidnapped in the middle of the night by nunlike creatures who re-program them at a sinister "convent." Since the pursuit of a perfect body becomes a kind of religion, a huckster named Reverend Earl hits it big with evangelical infomercials promising buns of steel to those who repent. With an ear for dialogue and a truly wild imagination, Reed (author of Seven for the Apocalypse) populates her scary book with believable characters including Annie Abercrombie, an anorexic teenager taken hostage by the nuns, and Kelly, the obese friend also targeted by the better-bod squad. A clever what-if, Reed's tale is provocative as well as amusing.
NOVEL
By George Hagen
The Laments suffer adversity at every turn in this heartrending and surprisingly comic family saga. After their newborn is kidnapped, Howard and Julia Lament adopt Will, an orphaned preemie, and embark upon an intercontinental trek in search of a meaningful life. They move from Southern Rhodesia to Bahrain to England and finally to New Jersey, where Howard, a hapless engineer specializing in valves, finds himself unemployed. With two more mouths to feed-Julia has given birth to rambunctious twins—the end of their troubles is nowhere in sight. Rounding out the family is Julia's ever-critical mother, Rose, a staunch defender of British colonialism who disapproves of their move to America. ("What else but lunatic theology could compel anyone to brave the Atlantic to start a new life in a wilderness with nothing to show for itself but the tomato and the turkey?") The briskly paced narrative crackles with dry wit, and its abundant surprises will make you weep and guffaw in equal measure.
NOVEL
By Robin Lynn Williams
The Player meets Office Space in this catty, clever farce that pits Hollywood power players against their plucky underlings. The ensemble piece revolves around five characters struggling to make it in a town that eats entry-level employees for brunch: Michaela, the "aging" (over 30) C-level actress and gofer extraordinaire; Kecia, the caretaker of a party-boy actor; Jeb, slave to a twit of an agent; Griffin, the secret brains behind a pompous manager; and Rachel, the aspiring screenwriter who serves a fading TV star. Each story is rich enough to stand alone, but the narratives deftly overlap—the friends not only work together but gripe together at their weekly AA-style meeting. As for their glittery milieu, you've got the dirty laundry list of L.A. debauch, including drug-fueled parties, lavish mansions that demand two zip codes and the cold-blooded affairs between cute young thangs and their aged bosses. Williams's book is brilliantly observed, and anyone who's done time as a peon will applaud the gang's plot to replace their witless bosses with real talent.—A.L.S.
NOVEL
By Greg Bear
Science fiction writer Greg Bear dives into the horror genre with this startlingly original ghost story: Peter Russell, an erstwhile pornographer, sees ghosts after using a cell phone that taps into a new bandwidth, a so-called "dead line." Seems the bandwidth is the portal that spirits use on their way to the afterlife; when it's jammed by human chatter, hell breaks loose.
The plot is ludicrous, but Bear keeps readers engaged with quirky, credible characters and a shot of pathos. Atmospheric, alarming and weirdly sad, Dead Lines is haunting.
HORROR
By James Lee Burke
James Lee Burke is a mostly wonderful writer who should be forgiven the occasional lapse—as in the case of his latest. The fourth Burke featuring Billy Bob Holland, Ponies follows the Montana lawyer as he's threatened for defending Johnny American Horse, an alcoholic Indian activist. The novel offers vivid characters and Burke's descriptive feel for the West is clear, but his tale could have used another go-round with a sharp red pencil. Sure, you could do worse than to ride these wild Ponies on a lazy day, but you could also do better: Read Burke's Black Cherry Blues or Heaven's Prisoners.
MYSTERY
Playful Parenting
Cheers! Two tongue-in-cheeky paperbacks—Christie Mellor's The Three-Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting, and Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads by Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden, offer brave new concepts for taking the drudgery out of child care.
CHILD LABOR Instead of letting tots wreak havoc when you entertain, Mellor advises teaching them to pass canapés or use a shaker to mix cocktails. "This is not only an aid to you...but a practical exercise in hand-eye coordination," she writes.
BE A SPORT Greenberg and Hayden suggest dads bond with infants by doing dramatic readings of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED while pointing out pix. Babies "love the umps."
BAN THE TUBE Nix commercial TV, says Mellor, who adds, "Unaware that they want...mutant action figures," sprouts will thank Santa for "tiny cars, a cuddly sock monkey...gifts that will cost you less than a cheap pedicure."
DIAPER GENIUS Instead of a smelly diaper pail, say Greenberg and Hayden, place a garbage bin under a window outside baby's room. When you need to toss a diaper, "open the window and throw down a long-range jumper."
- Contributors:
- Amy Waldman,
- Edward Nawotka,
- Marcelle Karp,
- Andrea L. Sachs,
- Lynn Andriani,
- Rebecca Donner,
- James Ireland Baker.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
