Dad:
Schmo:
Comic:
You've got to have a gimmick to succeed in reality TV, but how hard is it to pull off the same trick twice?
NBC's Who Wants to Marry My Dad? (Mondays, 10 p.m. ET) again has grown children picking a second mate for their divorced father. Nervous prospects are still subjected to the lie-detector test, but that element is getting old—no matter how much the polygraph man mugs for the camera. Reaching for novelty, the producers had the dad's sister-in-law pose as one of the women courting him while she spied on the legitimate candidates. But the weak ruse was abandoned early in the second episode.
On Spike TV's first Joe Schmo, one real contestant didn't know the others were actors assigned to fool him. The Schmo sequel (Tuesdays, 10 p.m. ET) went with two marks but failed to double the fun. One of them quickly got wise to the scam, and the producers persuaded her to remain and join in the make-believe. Meantime, a new—and presumably more gullible—player has been added to the game. Schmo hasn't run out of rude humor, but it's obviously straining to stay afloat.
If any summer entry defies the sophomore jinx, it's Last Comic Standing (NBC, Tuesdays, 9 p.m. ET). Repeating last year's pattern, the show delivered more pure entertainment in the auditions than it has since the finalists became housemates and started the usual reality-show backbiting. Still, each episode features comedians onstage doing what they do best. And laughter is never tiresome.
SCI FI
The 4400 USA (Sundays, 9 p.m. ET)
Like Taken, the Sci Fi Channel's 2002 epic, this five-week USA series (premiering July 11) is a tale of alien abduction filmed primarily in Vancouver. Maybe that's why the two-hour opener sometimes feels like a retread.
A ball of light lands near Mount Rainier and discharges 4,400 people who disappeared over the past century. The returnees don't seem to have aged, and some developed superhuman powers while they were away. Tapped to solve the mystery are Seattle-based Department of Homeland Security agents Tom (Joel Gretsch, an alien hunter in Taken) and Diana (Jacqueline McKenzie). She objects to his grumpiness; he broods a lot because his nephew (Patrick Flueger) is one of the 4,400 and his son (Chad Faust) has been in a coma since 2001.
There are interesting characters among the returnees: a former insurance man (Michael Moriarty, also seen in Taken) with a scary temper; a little girl (Conchita Campbell) who can see the future; and a pilot (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali) missing since the Korean War. But the brusque boss (Peter Coyote) of Homeland Security's regional office is definitely the sort we've seen before.
Lifetime (Mon., July 12, 9 p.m. ET)
DRAMA
You'll be so intent on seeing the bad guy nailed that you'll probably persevere through the unconvincing parts of this TV movie. But don't think it will be easy.
Loosely based on an actual case, the drama tells the story of Nathalie and Steve Johnson (Dana Delany and Hart Bochner), an affluent Minnesota couple who arrange to adopt a baby girl from Hungary through a Web site whose name alone—Adoptions-Are-Us—spells trouble. The parents-to-be fly to New York City to meet an unctuous Hungarian lawyer (Bruce Ramsay), who gives them just enough time to bond with adorable little Gitta and then demands $100,000. It turns out the lawyer is essentially auctioning off the infant to the highest bidder, and New York police enlist the Johnsons in a sting operation to take him down.
The situation is a grabber, and Ramsay is perfectly hateful as the baby seller. Unfortunately the film is all too obvious in its determination to depict Nathalie as brave, daring and resourceful-a "real live hero," as her husband puts it. After coming through for the cops, she has no trouble winning over a tough Judge Judy type who presides over a hearing to determine custody of Gitta.
MTV (Mondays, 10:30 p.m. ET)
REALITY
Does Andy Dick get on your nerves? No problem. That quality works to his advantage in the July 12 premiere of this funny parody of reality television.
A dozen youthful contestants, all with showbiz ambitions, carry out Dick's commands and compete for his favor, hoping to win the prize package of a car, a wardrobe and a "cool entry-level position" at a Hollywood production company. The survivor will be the one who most assiduously sucks up to the squirmy comic, portraying himself here as a capricious, clumsy and insecure pretender to A-list status. Sizing up the assembled aspirants, the petty tyrant announces, "I'd really like to eliminate everybody right now—but then I wouldn't have a [expletive deleted] show."
The Apprentice is clearly a target, but so are The Bachelor—there's a rose ceremony—and about every other unscripted series. At the end of the opener, one of the wannabes is axed for demonstrating insufficient knowledge of the great Andy Dick's biography during a mock quiz show. "I was kind of sad," she says, "but at least I got on TV." That sums up the genre pretty neatly.
Dr. 90210 (E!, July 11, 10 p.m. ET) If Nip/Tuck only whets your appetite for more plastic surgery, try the debut of this reality series about Beverly Hills practitioners and the patients they beautify.
Outback Jack (TBS, July 13, 9 p.m. ET) After a bumpy camel ride, the five soft city girls still in hot pursuit of strapping Aussie outdoorsman Vadim Dale find they have some new competition.
CMA Music Festival (CBS, July 14, 9 p.m. ET) Brooks & Dunn, Martina McBride and LeAnn Rimes sing on a country special taped last month during Nashville's Fan Fair.
Hitler's Pawn (HBO, July 14, 10 p.m. ET) Natalie Portman narrates a documentary about Margaret Lambert, a Jew who trained in vain to high-jump for Germany in the 1936 Olympics.
Pepsi Smash (WB, July 15, 8 p.m. ET) Jessica Simpson, Avril Lavigne and John Mayer headline the concert series' season finale.
It seems like only yesterday, but VH1 has set its nostalgic sights on the last decade of the 20th century with I Love the 90s, premiering July 12. Think you're da bomb on all things '90s? Take this quiz.
1. As prostitute Vivian Ward in 1990's Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts had one rule in dealing with clients. What was it? a) no drinking b) no kissing c) floss once a day d) no drugs
2. Who wrote Sinéad O'Connor's 1990 hit "Nothing Compares 2 U"? a) Prince b) George Michael c) Sting d) Sinéad O'Connor
3 Which of the following people did not appear in ads for Guess? clothing? a) Claudia Schiffer b) Anna Nicole Smith c) Johnny Depp d) Tom Skerritt
4. In 1990's Ghost, what did Patrick Swayze's character say to his wife (played by Demi Moore) when she told him "I love you"? a) "Me too" b) "Ditto" c) "Thanks" d) nothing
5. Which rapper professed to "rock the mike like a vandal" and "wax a chump like a candle"? a) Snow b) Tone-Loc c) MC Hammer d) Vanilla Ice
6. The Taco Bell Chihuahua was... a) male b) female
7. In the novelty hit "I'm Too Sexy," which of the following was Right Said Fred not too sexy for? a) his hat b) his shirt c) his shoes d) his song
8. In 1997's Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Dr. Evil's spaceship is shaped like which character? a) Ronald McDonald b) the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man c) Bob's Big Boy d) Roy Rogers
9. Which of these is not the name of a Teletubby? a) Faa-Laa b) Dipsy c) Laa-Laa d) Po
10. In the 1996 blockbuster Independence Day, how much time did David (Jeff Goldblum) and Steve (Will Smith) have to get out of the mother ship before it explodes? a) 30 minutes b) 30 seconds c) 25 seconds d) 10 seconds
ANSWERS: 1. b; 2. a; 3. c; 4. b; 5. d; 6. b (she just played a male on TV); 7. c; 8. c; 9. a; 10. b
- Contributors:
- Terry Kelleher.
Saved by the Bell Reunion
The hookups, the meltdowns, the memoires
The case reveals what was really going on what they think of each other now!
